Trapped in a restaurant full of drunks

It's 3 AM on a Saturday night, the bars have vomited their patrons, I have to a paper to finish urgently, and the only feasible venue to such activities that's still open in this small town is the trusty IHOP.

I'm surrounded by foul mouthed, inebriated students at the moment. Someone shoot me.

I'd forgotten how trite and incredibly boring drunken college student antics were.

Time to invest in broadband at home.