Holiness and Heartbreak

What does it mean to be holy
I’ve been told it means to be set apart

Consecrated for divine purpose
You are special
Different
But I wrestle with this
For the first time in my life I wish to be ordinary
Not set apart
Not exceptional
Just common
For in commonality lie things we can share
I want people to drink from my cup
And for me to sip from theirs
Because it is through this sweet communion that I see God

Oh God, I feel like I don’t fit the mold of a good Christian these days
maybe that’s ok
I am to be your reflection so conform my image to yours and help me not to base my walk on the journey someone else finds themselves on
I want to look like you
A print made from Masterpiece
Not reproduced from another copy

Connect me to your heartbreak
So that I will not hurt you in those ways
And if I have the privilege to share
Teach others to not be the causes of that sort of heartbreak for you either

I suppose this is a prayer
So God I ask that you
Honor the tears that accompany it
For they say things I have not yet found words for
And speak to the fullness of my heart
Because I love you
Not because you are my healer and deliverer
Or because you are alpha and omega
So ingrained in my being that I don’t always know where you stop and I begin
It’s because you are I Am
And I would exhaust speech before
I could try and define who you are to me