Hold May 2, 2017

In the still, dark of night I hold sadness
I hold the remains of a tomorrow that will never come,
the fractured chrysalis of a possibility that will not develop the wings of reality

I hold anxiety intimately and close like a lover
Breathing in questions and exhaling the deep sighs of my disappointment
Is it worth it? *Sigh*
Can I do this? *Sigh*
Why is this the outcome?
My mind tugs at itself and the Divine for answers I know won’t come in this late hour

I hold space for feelings to rise like floodwaters and overflow
Breaching the levies of my eyelids
These heavy breaths are the howling winds of my personal storm
I will let it rage and will not speak peace to it

I hold the shards
I hold the pain
I hold the tension of hope shot down and work to acknowledge what was, what is, and what may never be

I will not rush past
I will not ignore
I will not deny
I will simply hold my heartache and this loss tonight

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