This past weekend, my husband and I attended a Christian conference in Dallas, TX called CenterPeace. This conference was for Christian families with youth and young adult LGBTQ+ children who came from conservative churches. Watching families unite, reconcile, and heal was actually quite emotional and healing for me.
Statistically-speaking, there were LGBTQ+ youth and young adults who also had higher rates of Autism and other Neurodiversities which was not surprising since science supports this. We had the privilege of hearing many stories from these families. They all were a little different but had some striking similarities. One, most of the LGBTQ+ children had brushes with suicide or suicidal ideations from church and/or family rejection.
Two, Christians with non-LGBTQ+ families were by-far the most ugly and judgmental towards LGBTQ+ families than those outside the Church. Thankfully in the reverse, many Christians were very loving and accepting, especially Irish Catholics, which I liked hearing. Third, most of the families had to totally alter their Church and family life to save the life and well-being of their LGBTQ+ child. Fourth, out of the parents, the mothers are typically ahead in their understanding of this issue than the fathers. Fifth, all of these families had to go through significant healing, reconciliation, and recovery therapy. Last, most families had to choose between their child’s right-to-life or stay in the conservative Church.
Hearing these stories and listening to the joys and sorrows only confirm what I see in the real-life experience as a Catholic-Christian, practitioner, and parent. A number of conservative Christians of the Religious Right mentality do not care if LGBTQ+ families, including Christian LGBTQ+ families, live or die. They say they wish no harm, but they are lying. In some cases, they cheer on suicide, harm, and assist in the departure of the LGBTQ+ child and family from the Church where they need pastoral ministry which aligns with current science. I have come to a turning point in my faith. I must stay clear of those who wish LGBTQ+ people and their families harm and death and gravitate towards those who love and accept their LGBTQ+ kids.
This is the Church teaching which supports the Sanctity of Life and the Solidarity of the LGBTQ+ Family rooted in Catholic Social Teaching. So Catholic parents of LBGTQIA+ children who are many times also Neurodiverse, here is some good Catholic teaching for those trads who want to use sexual doctrine as a weapon to destroy the LBGTQIA+ people and families. If you want to get technical with Catholic Teaching, by advocating for LBGTQIA + inclusion, we are following Catholic Social Teaching which honors the Sanctity of life and Dignity of the Human Person, The Call to Family, Community, and Participation by keeping the family intact, which includes the LBGTQIA person. I am following Pope Francis’s directive in his Encyclical Amoris Lattetita to give appropriate pastoral care to the LBGTQIA person by including him/her because it’s life and death, and Jesus’s 2nd greatest commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves. By bucking every major medical association in the world by rejecting the LGBTQ+ person and their family, we are choosing harm and death.
So trads can call me a Cafeteria Catholic all they want, but by excluding and rejecting the LBGTQIA person, that is destroying the person and their family to which they belong, and that’s less Catholic teaching than allowing the LBGTQIA+ person to be a practicing homosexual in a life-long committed relationship included within their family which is life and death. Debating someone’s right-to-life is not negotiable. The Sanctity of Life and Human Dignity always comes first in the Catholic Church. God doesn’t make junk, nor does He make mistakes. I choose life.
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