It’s that time of year again…New Years resolutions. Every year, my husband, Dave, and I sit down and talk about how we can make the upcoming year our best yet. My resolutions often include getting in better shape, reading more books, reading my Bible more, volunteering in a new capacity, starting a new hobby, raising my voice less to my kiddos, etc. I think so many of us tend to focus on things like these, but we often forget to make very specific resolutions that will help us have a better marriage. So, instead of watching the countless infomercials for the latest and greatest fitness regimes or surfing the net for the best books to read in 2015, why not sit down with your spouse and try applying some of the following 5 resolutions to your own marriage and maybe add a few ideas of your own? Here are my top 5 resolutions for a better marriage in 2015:
1. Less Screen Time and More Face Time (in person)
Whether it is the television, computer, tablet, or cell phone, we are a culture OBSESSED with screens; myself included. By the time we see our spouse at the end of a long work day, we are in dire need of some real face time. No, not the awesome Apple Face Time that you have with relatives. I’m talking about your eyes locking and being close enough to smell each other’s scent (hopefully a pleasant one). We must truly connect each day with our partners if we desire a stronger marriage. It is impossible to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your spouse while staring at a screen. We can tell ourselves that we are master multi-tasters all we want, but marriage isn’t something we should be multi-tasking. It isn’t really a task at all. This is the love of our life. He or she deserves our full attention. So, join me, and let’s turn away from the screen and give him/her our best.
If you and your spouse are looking for some great conversation starters, check out our latest book “Marriage Minute” by clicking here.
2. More Sex
Yes, I mean exactly that. Why not resolve to have more sex with your spouse? The longer we are married, the harder and less important this seems to become; or, at least this is what we tell ourselves and each other. The fact of the matter is, sex is IMPORTANT and NECESSARY for a thriving marriage. It is the most intimate way that a husband and wife can communicate and connect. It involves our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual selves. Sex is a beautiful gift from God. Let’s not miss out on it!! It was specifically and exclusively designed for marriage after all. So, go ahead, light those candles, run those bubble baths, play that saucy music, and well….bow-chicka-wow-wow. Enjoy!
For more on improving your sex life and marriage, please watch our latest video series “Best Sex Life Now” by clicking here.
3. Start and Keep a Regular Date Night
I know what you are thinking. Date nights take a lot of time and money, and sometimes, they do. So, let’s get creative. Put the kids to bed earlier one night, open a bottle of wine, rent a romantic movie, get some Chinese takeout, and enjoy the quiet couple of hours you and your spouse will have to just be the two of you again. Every married couple so desperately needs this time to reconnect and remember why you fell in love in the first place. If possible, try and do this weekly. If your budget allows, go out on the town. However you spend this date night, you will be glad you had this special time with your partner.
4. Attend a Marriage Retreat or Conference Together
Whether your marriage is struggling or going strong, marriage retreats and conferences are a great way to reconnect and reassess how to make it better. Retreats often involve an overnight stay and are usually set in beautiful destinations. They have a wide price range depending on where you decide to go, stay, and how long the retreat lasts. You can often find marriage conferences at local churches. These are usually scheduled on a Friday night and Saturday, often includes meals, and are pretty cost effective. I encourage you and your partner to sit down and research both options and make your reservation. You will not only learn a lot about marriage, but you will learn more about each other and meet some other nice couples as well.
If you are not already part of our marriage community on Facebook, we’d love to have you! Please go to “Stronger Marriages” by clicking here, and like our page to receive updates on our upcoming marriage retreats and conferences for 2015.
5. Do Something New Together
Have you and your spouse talked about going somewhere or starting a new hobby together that seems like a pipe dream? Well, I challenge you to both take steps to making that dream become reality this year, if possible. If it just isn’t possible this year, due to financial and schedule circumstances, simply take smaller steps to work towards that goal. Dave and I have always wanted to go hike the Inca Trail in Machu Picchu, Peru. We have talked about it for years. We’ve scrolled through pictures, researched prices, and even looked at how to train for it. However, we haven’t taken the first step to making this a real, tangible goal. This year, we are taking the first step. We are having a baby in February, so we probably won’t be able to hike the trail this year, but we can start saving for the trip. So, what about you? What’s that “thing” you both so long to experience together. Make it a reality by taking real steps towards your goal.
I hope each and every one of you has an amazing 2015, and it is my prayer that you fall in love more deeply with each other and have stronger marriages. God bless!