3 Signs that You Might be SMOTHERING Your Spouse

2.  Your spouse often glazes over and becomes irritable during long conversations with you.

There are times when one spouse is more talkative than the other.  Some people are “talkers,” while others are better “listeners.”  I get it.  We usually understand these differences when we marry, but it’s a whole other ballgame when we’re living with each other day in and day out.

However, if our spouse seems to shut down the longer we talk to him/her, there is a problem.  And, we must be willing to find out the root of it.   Whether it’s the subject matter or the length of the conversation, we must have enough awareness of his/her reaction that we pause to ask them his/her opinion or if something is wrong.  

More importantly, we must be willing to listen to his/her answer.  If our spouse is feeling smothered by too much conversation at that time, then we need to give them some quiet time alone.

As an introvert, I understand this all too well.  I LOVE people, and I LOVE talking.  But, I can’t do it for super long periods of time without feeling emotionally zapped.  After a while, I start glazing over, and I feel the need to be alone for a little while.  Over the years, my husband, Dave, has so graciously become in tune to my telltale signs…almost better than I know them myself.  He understands how I’m wired and tries to bring out the best in me by making sure that I can refuel with some time alone as needed.  He has learned that this has nothing to do with him personally, and it has everything to do with how I’m made.

I share this story to encourage you to not take your spouse’s response personally. Most of the time, he/she may feel smothered simply because they haven’t had enough time alone and need that time to refuel and be at his/her best for you and your family.

http://sixseeds.patheos.com/ashleywillis/to-the-spouse-whos-burned-out/