When You Feel Like Your Spouse Doesn’t Want You Around

Let’s really get honest with ourselves here.  Are we inviting to our spouse whenever we see him/her–no matter the circumstances–or are we chilly and aloof?  Are we genuinely happy to see him/her, or do we feel like our spouse is just another interruption in our day?

When I peel back my pride and really take a long hard look in the mirror, I know I’ve been less than inviting to my husband, Dave, during different seasons of our marriage.  And, when I replay my antagonistic greetings in my mind, I’m ashamed at how I treated him.  Thankfully, those seasons were short-lived due to the tremendous grace that Dave gave me in those stressful moments, but I want to do my best to always invite him into my space, my heart, and my life whenever I can.  

Friend, if you find that you and your spouse are struggling with this, please know that all is not lost.  Both of you can do things to change this negative dynamic.  Here’s how:

1. Whenever you greet your spouse, do your best to look him/her in the eyes, ask about his/her day, and listen to what he/she has to say.  
2. Be sure to put the cell phone down and other electronic devices away so that you can give him/her your best attention.
3. If your spouse seems extra stressed when you greet him/her, ask what you can do to help and mean it.  This will go a long way in lifting the burden to allow your spouse to be more inviting to you as well.
4. If one or both of you has struggled with being uninviting to one another for a long time, please be patient with one another as you work to improve this aspect of your marriage.  Old habits die hard, but the good new behaviors will form with persistence and consistency.  
5. Stop perceiving your spouse as an interruption.  He/she always deserves your first and best attention, so we must do our best to adjust our schedule to cultivate a strong, inviting marriage.

When we choose to consistently invite our spouse into our day and great him/her with a genuine smile and welcoming spirit, our marriage will grow stronger.  Do whatever you can to let your spouse know that you love having him/her around.  There should be no doubt in his/her mind. So, how can you be inviting to your spouse today?

For more on how to cultivate a stronger marriage, please check out our latest and most interactive resource called, Fighting for my Marriage, by clicking here.

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