3 Reasons DEMANDS AND THREATS are Killing Your Marriage

I hear it all the time–couples giving each other various demands with the threat of no sex, the withdrawal of money, separation or even divorce. Friends, I’ve never seen this work out well. It only leads to pride and resentment, and both parties lose. Here’s why…

According to Google, an ultimatum is “a final demand or statement of terms, the rejection of which will result in retaliation or a breakdown in relations.”

Doesn’t this definition say it all?

As a married couple, we shouldn’t want to engage in anything that could possibly lead to a “breakdown in relations,” so why is it that many couples regularly give each other ultimatums?

We see it as a means to an end when we are weary and see no hope in resolving prolonged marital problems.  But, pride is at the root of it.

We give our spouse an ultimatum so that when they fail (and we often set him/her up to fail with our stated terms), we can point to a reason why we had to give up on our spouse and marriage.  It gives us the notion that we aren’t at fault, and it places all the blame on our spouse and their failure to follow through with our demands.

But, in the end, all we’re left with is a broken relationship and a stinky heap of pride and resentment.  So, here are 3 reasons why making demands and threats don’t work: