Are you expecting your spouse to be a MIND-READER? Here are the signs…

I should have TOLD him, WITH WORDS, what I really needed from him in that moment, instead of expecting him to be a mind-reader.

Yes, he knows me better than anyone else.  Yes, we finish each other’s sentences many times.  Yes, we have a deep, intimate connection that is a tremendous blessing from God.

However, MY HUSBAND IS NOT A MIND-READER, AND NEITHER AM I.

I’ve tried and tried…still not.

The only way I am ever going to make my hopes, dreams, desires, expectations, and pretty much anything that needs to be conveyed crystal clear is by opening my mouth and uttering the truth, in love, to my hubby.  And, he must do the same for me.

Then, and ONLY then, can we truly “get” each other.

Nonverbal communication (our mannerisms, facial expressions, and body language) must be SECONDARY to verbal communication (words).

One would think that this is a no-brainer, but I, along with so many wives that I’ve talked to and counseled throughout the years, struggle with this concept DAILY.

Whenever I even start to have those crazy convos in my head, like I described earlier, I immediately go to Dave and tell him what is on my heart.  And, honestly, the sooner the better.  Ideally it’s in person, but sometimes it can be a test message or phone call, but make no mistake…there are WORDS involved.

There is so much more peace in our home when I don’t make assumptions about Dave or expect him to read my mind or “figure me out”.

Why oh why did I ever do that in the first place?  I think I was trying to take the easy way out.  Talking things out can be really difficult and even awkward sometimes.  But, when we do, we can know that we laid it all on the table.  We don’t have to play the “guess what I’m thinking” game, which is seemingly endearing  but extremely ineffective.

Wives, please learn from my mistakes.  Let’s not expect our husbands to read our minds or figure us out.  That’s honestly a terrifying thought for most men.  Let’s use our words, in the most loving, but truthful way possible.