Matthew is back! And with weightloss tips yet.

For the most astrological fun you can have with your clothes on, catch up on Matthew’s reposts at Matthew the Astrologer including what appears to be the entire Zodiac’s Guide to compatibility.  Who could forget such classic moments as these:

Love is a Battlefield: Aries goes to war for love and concocts strategies for taking over Love Island..

Should I stay or should I go? A game show where Geminis get to compete for money on these important questions.

Overture, Curtain Lights! The 12-screen Multiplex of Love for Leo.

As if these tasty morsels were not enough, Matthew reveals his attraction for the new and improved (size 12) Jessica Simpson and his own fitness secrets (surfing the net while lifting a slice of pizza), along with tips on losing weight with astrology such as timing the start of your diet with Mars.  And then he endears himself to all women with these words:

Perhaps the single most important thing to keep in mind is this: On the one hand, the fashion industry has dictated for about the last fifty years or so that “underfed” is a good look. On the other hand, biology has dictated for about the last million years that having a little “excess” weight is an attractive thing. It indicates good health, a plentiful supply of resources, and the means to bear and raise children (in the area of extra boob and bum matter).

And besides, if most straight males are honest with you about it, they’d prefer a woman with a little excess weight over one who’s underweight. Unless of course you’re trying to catch a man who takes all his advice from fashion magazines.. in which case, your relationship may have much larger problems than just your dress size.