Musings on soulmates

Yesterday I did a reading for a young woman who was reeling from a breakup with a man she considered her soulmate.  She was mystified by the ending of the relationship and was hoping to find some clues that would help her to move on.  This type of situation occurs frequently, and it’s very interesting from an astrological perspective.  Nearly always there is a big transformation that results from the relationship – an opening of the heart, a letting go of emotional baggage – that wouldn’t have happened without this particular relationship.  But then when the transformation is complete the relationship ends if it doesn’t meet the long-term needs of the individual.

Most people are looking for their soulmate, and some who are married too, I suppose. Many people think the soulmate will be their perfect match in every way, perhaps a mirror to reflect their own value back to them. In real life, the soulmate relationship usually doesn’t work that way.

Often when two people meet and feel an immediate connection there is a linkage between their two charts, sometimes a harmonious connection (trines and sextiles) and sometimes a challenging one (squares and oppositions). Often it is the challenging connections that feel more exciting and dynamic, but then once the excitement of the new relationship dies down the intensity of the connection has a tendency to fade, leaving the conflicting nature of the connection to be dealt with. That’s usually when we see breakups, but that is often the point where real soul growth can begin to take place.

There’s no way to definitively prove that some relationships enter our lives to clean up past karma, but I believe that this is true.  In the case of yesterday’s client there were some transits to the nodes (the destiny points) at the time they met, and interactions between their progressed charts that aligned just as they came together.  Significant events occurred that would change both of their lives forever.

In my own experience, the soulmate relationship is not the magical coming together of two personalities that we see in Hollywood movies.  It’s the friendship that ties two people together for a lifetime, perhaps driving each of them crazy but teaching them both important lessons.  It’s the marriage that offers the emotional support for healing that each partner needs in order to fulfill their fate.  It’s the affair which breaks a person out of the prison of their own closed heart and enables them to find true love with their own spouse, or a new one.

Soulmates are individuals that we draw to us to help us to grow and evolve.  Sometimes that process occurs over an evening – sometimes it lasts a lifetime.  A soulmate is not what you think, and so much more.

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