Rest

I’ve talked about how I struggle with vulnerability. I also struggle with rest. Part of this is because I’m a naturally energetic and enthusiastic person. I like doing! Part of it is I internalize not doing with wasting time and taking up space. I do not heap this judgment on others; it’s a special judgment I keep for myself. Resting can mean sitting on the couch, but I’d better be Reading Important Works or Thinking Deep Thoughts. Funny, all the time I spend on the internet isn’t all that restful.

I’m very, very blessed/lucky/privileged that I get to live the life that I do. Almost all of my life is made up of things I enjoy doing: being with my kids, cooking for my family (yep, I really love doing that), taking care of my home, reading and writing, diving into my spiritual practices. It’s a great life.

But every so many weeks I get slammed with exhaustion. Part of it is because I’ve got a little nursling and a family to care for. Part of it is it’s been a damn busy year: new child (who arrived the day after I ‘got over’ the flu), big decisions about quitting my PhD program and where to move to when our visas expired, and then moving countries in two months. I have a lot of reasons to be tired. Part of it is because I am lousy at resting.

And so….. I am taking a little staycation. I’m going to take the next week and a bit off: husband is picking up the house and cooking slack, I’m going to back off of the blog and project and the internet in general. I’ve already started a fun, entirely non-serious novel.

My big struggle is not turning this period of rest into a Project all its own.

See you in a bit.