Genesis Quick and Dirty

Genesis Quick and Dirty February 15, 2011

In the beginning God spoke light and heaven and earth into existence and filled them with every good thing, and made humans to image God which was very good indeed. God breathed into dust and the man was made and finding that all the beasts still left the man alone God snuck a rib out of the man and made a women. The man and the women lived in a garden and could eat of all sorts of trees that bore fruit, but one tree was off limits. The man and the women were convinced one day, by a serpent, to eat from it though, which resulted in them leaving the garden. This was difficult, because now they had to toil to get food, and it would be painful for the women to give birth.

Eve found out how hard it was to give birth soon, when she had sons. Her sons were named Cain and Able. Cain was a farmer and Able was a herder. The farmer killed the herder, and was cast off the land to wander the earth, and he built  a city and began a civilization. The first man and women had another son, and soon many other people were born. The people were evil, and as a result the earth was flooded and everyone was destroyed, except for one family which God saved. This was the family of Noah. Noah’s family began civilization again, but soon trouble emerged. The people gathered together and sought to build a tower to heaven and God thought it was a good idea to break up the people, so he jumbled the languages and the people scattered.

God came to a man named Abram and told him that he would father a vast nation. Abram believed God. He left and traveled from Mesopotamia through the fertile crescent all the way down to Egypt and settled in the lands near the Jordan and the Dead Sea, in Cannan and Hebron. Then Abram got caught up with a local dispute over wells and gets involved in world politics. He intervenes in a dispute between Mesopotamian rulers and the rulers of Sodom, Gomorra, and other cities around the Jordan. He saved his neighbors, rescued his nephew, and was blessed and given bread and wine by the Priest of the Most High God.

God again made a covenant with Abram, promising him a great nation, but after a while Abram was wondering how it would be that he would father a nation since he was getting really old, and so was his wife, Sarai. So he had a son with his wife’s servant, Hagar. God told him that this was not what he meant. Sarai would actually be the one who would dive birth. God also mentioned that all men in his household should have their foreskin cut off. Abram is renamed Abraham and his wife is renamed Sarah.

Sodom and Gomorra are then destroyed because they are so wicked that there are not even 10 righteous people in them. Abraham nephew, Lot escapes with his family, his wife is turned to salt and Lot’s daughters thinking the whole world is destroyed get pregnant by their father.

After some domestic confusion with Abimelech, a local ruler, over his wife, Sarah finally gives birth to a son. They name him Isaac. This results in some domestic issues because Abraham’s son through Hagar, Ishmael, poses a threat to Isaac’s pride of place. Hagar and Ishmael are cast out, but God saves them and preserves their life. Then there is some more dealing with Abimelech.

Abraham hears God again, but this time God tells Abraham to sacrifice his son. Abraham is about to to it but an Angel stops him, and Abram kills a ram instead. Sarah dies after this and Issac is given a wife named Rebekah.

Issac seems to relive many of the themes of his fathers life. Abimelech is involved in another domestic confusion, he fights over wells too, his sons Jacob and Essau have a great deal of animosity between one another like Isaac and Ishmael and the second-born Jacob, also gets the blessing and carries out the line.

Jacob flees to the land of his Mother and works for his uncle for 14 years to marry the women he loves named Rachel, in the middle of this time he accidentally married her sister named Leah. Jacob eventually goes back to Canaan. He fears that his Father-in-law and his brother will harm him. Jacob’s life is preserved and he is reconciled to them both, but before that he wrestled with the Angel of the LORD. Jacob moves around a bit, his sons take revenge on a city because their prince had violated their sister, and Jacob’s name is changed to Israel.

Now Israel had a favorite son, named Joseph, who had visions. His brothers disliked him so much that they sent him off in slavery to Egypt. They told Israel about it and he was very upset. Judah then finds a women and has some children with her, marries his son off to a girl named Tamar. Tamar’s husband dies and because Judah does not give her a new husband she tricks him into making her pregnant. Meanwhile Joseph achieves a great deal of success in Egypt, after a rough patch and is made a very important person.

Back in Canaan things are not good, there is a famine and Joseph’s brothers go down to Egypt for food. Joseph is in charge of the food so he plays some tricks on his brothers, but eventually is reconciled to his family and everyone comes down to live in egypt with him where there is food. There they live out the rest of their days.


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