I recently watched a presentation by Anthony Trufant where he shares 11 points about how to do ministry in a healthy and effective way in a video by SAGE.
These are things that Anthony Trufant says he wishes he knew 29 years ago when he started ministry.
THE LIST:
note: He messes up a little bit on his own numbering so don’t get to confused with my list if you read it along with the video
1) Relationship with Jesus is healthy (open, honest, dynamic, grounded)
2) Relationship with Self is healthy (Intellectual, physical, relationally, psychologically, holistically)
3) Relationship with Family is healthy (They are your primary responsibility not the church)
4) Relationship with friends is healthy (authentic, intimate and accountable with integrity)
5) Relationship with Church is healthy (empower the gifts of others)
6) Be willing to take risks! (you will make mistakes, but make NEW ones)
7) The first “No” is not the final “no” give people room to discern with you. (YOU have lived with an idea for a while, others haven’t)
8) Learn that conflict is not an enemy but an ally (invitation to revelation and transformation about self and others)
9) Develop different “styles” of conflict management (consiitory, consensus builder, direct, diplomatic, fill your tool box!)
10) Enter with an exit strategy (be faithful and fruitful, but don’t leave baggage behind)
11) Be clear about what your personal baggage is. (Then we can address our issues with humility and honesty)
MY RESPONSE
All of these things are great reminders to me. I have recently found myself in a place of discernment, and don’t know where God is calling my family and me to next. We are in seminary now, but depending on how God guides us we could be any number of places a year from now.
For me personally here is where I am at with the 11 points:
1) This one is key, if I don’t have it in place I will fall (and have fallen) into intellectualism, and confusion. My options become to overwhelming and I can’t figure out which way I should move forward.
2) At this point in my life this is something really important to me. It’s not about making time for yourself, it’s about making real CONCERN for yourself. This is NOT going to be fun all the time. For me this mens a few very concrete things. I have a strict diet, I seek out spiritual direction, I exercise, I spend time reading fiction, I spend time talking with friends, I have fun with my wife, and I play with my son.
3) My relationship with my family is a KEY issue for my own personal health. I am a servant of my wife, and son. That is my role. One of the few times I can know FOR SURE I am living God’s perfect will for my life is when I am changing my son’s diapers.
4) This is an area that I would love to be healthier. I am busy (3 Jobs, full time school, family) the first thing that gets the ax in my life is HONEST and OPEN conversation with peers. This is something I enjoy so much sometimes I forget it’s important and it gets put on the back burner. If anyone wants to come over for good conversation and beers… it’s something I really need more of.
5) This one is less relevant to me where I am at now. I am not leading any ministries these days (except for http://theorant.com I suppose), but I do need to always keep my eyes open for where others are shinning. I can be a leader at home, in class, and even at work, by affirming other people’s gifts
6) Taking risks is hard… I could actually use prayer about this one. Keep me in prayer if you could.
7) As I look for ways forward in my life it’s really important that I can help guide people so that they understand what I’m doing and why. this is a good reminder that my decisions effect others and sometimes people need time to work things out. ALSO sometimes we need time to work out what God’s vision for US is too… I know I do 🙂
8) I often treat conflict like an enemy, because it’s not easy. I think it’s important not to treat conflict like a goal either. Some people like to argue for arguments sake (I know I do sometimes), this isn’t healthy. Keeping the right perspective in the MIDST of arguments is key.
9) Managing conflict is one of the few “ministries” I get to be a part of. By dealing with conversations online with http://theorant.com I have to learn to help people with VASTLY different perspectives actually talk to each other. I liked the list that Anthony gave, and would like to spend more time developing some of those models in my own life.
10) I have always kept this in mind. One of my earliest mentors told me that ministry was all about working yourself out of a Job. When we build in a way that we won’t be needed the structures can last even when we’re gone.
11) My wife is my personal TSA agent, she is honest with me about my baggage and helps me deal with it. She helps me be a better person and helps me live with more humility when I’m not. Thanks Joan!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!
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