19 MORE Ideas for Pastor Appreciation Month

If you missed Clergy Appreciation Day (October 9, 2022),  don’t worry—your church can still show your minister that you care before the end of October. The whole month is Pastor Appreciation Month. Click here to read my article, “22 Ideas for Clergy Appreciation Day.” Your church still has time to use some of these ideas. Many of these require policies or actions on the part of your entire congregation. If you want a more personal touch, something you can do as an individual or family, please read the rest of this article. Here are 19 MORE ideas for Pastor Appreciation Month

19 MORE Ideas for Pastor Appreciation Month

Many pastors are quiet quitting the church, and some tendering their resignations because they feel unappreciated and disrespected. Here are some things that you and your family can do to make your pastor feel appreciated. Some churches either don’t know or don’t care about Pastor Appreciation Month. You don’t need to wait for your church to decide how to observe it on a corporate level. You can do something yourself. Here are some suggestions for things you can do anonymously, or with your name and relationship attached:

1. Tell him about hidden landmines, before he steps on them. Especially if your pastor is new to the congregation, he might not be aware when he is about to break some tradition, violate some unwritten rule, or offend someone unwittingly. Of course, your pastor needs to make his own mistakes, but he will thank you if you warn him gently and lovingly before he makes them. Be there to bind up his wounds if he steps on them anyway.

2. Trust your pastor’s education and experience. You wouldn’t go to the doctor and tell them they don’t know what they are doing because you read all about it on WebMD. While your pastor is definitely fallible, your church did call them based on certain qualifications and credentials. Chances are they have expertise that few others in the congregation possess. Trust their ability to do what the church has called them to do.

3. Adopt your pastoral family into your own family. I will never forget the love we received from some of the families in our churches who welcomed us into their lives. My children grew up with bonus “grannies” and “cousins.” My wife at the time got welcomed into the “Ride-Your-Ass-Up-And-Down-The-Road-Club” with some deacons’ wives. I gained an extra brother who taught me how to fish. When you’re not just another church member, but you invite your pastoral family to join your own family, you warm your pastor’s heart.

4. If you own wooded property and your pastor has a fireplace or wood stove, offer your pastor free firewood. not just with firewood. I served rural churches my entire ministry career, and always had enough firewood to heat the house for free every winter. They say that firewood warms you twice—once when you cut it and once when you burn it. Not true—it warms you three times. The third is the way it warms a pastor’s heart when it’s a gift from a friend.

5. If your kids are the same age as your pastor’s kids why not invite them over to spend the night? Give your pastor and spouse time to themselves to recharge their relationship.

6. If you have the skill, offer to help your pastor maintain their personal vehicle. Many pastors are white-collar people without much mechanical, hands-on skill. Also, their schedules often don’t allow large blocks of time dedicated to big repair projects. If you have the know-how, you can be a great help!

7. Pray for your pastor. Pray for your pastor. Pray for your pastor. And let her know that you’re praying. Ask for specific needs for which you can pray. And since you’re focusing so much on your minister’s needs, maybe God will use you to meet those needs.

8. Take your pastor out for lunch or coffee. Make sure that you pay. Tell him you’re not interested in talking about yourself, but that you want to hear about how he and his family are doing. You want to find out if there’s anything you can do for them. Invite your pastor to share his vision for the church and ask how you can help.

9. If you own a timeshare, vacation home, cabin, or RV, consider letting your pastor use it. I once had a seminary professor who suggested taking a few days once a quarter to work on sermons free from distraction. Your getaway spot could be just the hermitage that your pastor needs. Or, their family might be desperate for a vacation, but lacking the funds to get away. You can provide the refreshment they need. This is an extravagant offer on your part, and your pastor may refuse, concerned that there are strings attached. Make sure he knows this gift is unconditional. One family in one of my churches did this for us and provided us with a vacation spot twice a year, for a number of years. I’ll never forget their generosity. It cost them nothing—but it meant everything to me!

10. If you don’t own a timeshare, RV, cabin, or vacation house, consider blessing your pastoral family by paying for a weekend away for all of them or just for the couple. Rent an Airbnb for them for a couple of nights. Consider doing this anonymously, slipping a card under their office door, with a gift certificate for this day inside.

11. Offer to employ your pastor’s children for the kind of things you might hire any neighborhood child to do. Grass cutting, babysitting, stable work, and the like usually go to well-established neighborhood kids. Pastor’s children have a harder time making the connections to find that kind of work. Consider giving them your affirmative action.

12. If you are gifted with the skill of public speaking, offer to preach on Sundays if she wants to go out of town. Tell her that you have a pre-written sermon ready to pull out of your pocket in case she wakes up sick and need someone to fill in. Many pastors feel like they can’t take a sick day on a Sunday, because they don’t want to impose on anyone who might be unprepared to speak in the pastor’s absence. And many churches don’t want to grant a weekend away because they would have to pay a guest preacher. You can eliminate this objection by preaching for free.

13. Find out if your pastor has been drooling over the latest Bible translation that has been published. Ask their spouse to do some snooping and find out not just the translation, but the size of type, the width of margin, the thickness of paper, the kind of binding, and the material for the cover that your pastor would love. Buy them their dream Bible. In one of my churches, several families chipped in together to buy me a beautiful calfskin, gilt edges, wide-margin Bible that I could never have afforded for myself. They all signed it. It made me feel so special!

14. If you want your pastor to know how much you appreciate her, do something nice for her children. Pay for the family to go to a theme park. By the movie tickets. Give them fast food coupons. Give them hand-me-down clothes, or better yet, buy them something new to wear.

15. Don’t criticize the clothes that your pastor, their spouse, or their children wear. If you want to see them dressing better, you could help out with that. Once, I opened the mailbox to find an anonymous card and gift certificate to the local men’s clothing store. That gift was enough to purchase a full suit and a pair of shoes. Another time, a deacon told me he wanted to use his bonus from work to buy me a couple of suits and to buy some dresses for my wife at the time. If you want people to honor your pastor, help them to look their best. Just before Easter is a good time to give them the gift of dress clothes.

16. Take your pastor’s children back-to-school shopping. Get them the backpacks, school supplies, and clothing that they need. Back-to-school is often a financially difficult time for young pastoral families. Maybe you’re in a position to help.

17. If you want your pastor to share the favorite pastime of other church members, don’t expect them to purchase all the equipment themselves. If your country church is into hunting and fishing, buy your pastor camo clothing and hip waders. If it’s an upscale community, buy your pastor a set of golf clubs. The reason your pastor doesn’t join the pastimes of church members could be because they don’t have the right equipment. Help them with this, and you will help them to fit in socially with the congregation.

18. Buy Christmas presents for the pastor’s kids. I remember one year when our church sponsored Angel Tree kids for the holidays. I feel terrible about this now, but while I thought it was amazing that they were helping needy families, I was secretly resentful. Again, I’m not proud that I thought those “charity kids” would get more for Christmas than I could afford to buy my own kids on a pastor’s salary. But that’s the way I felt. One family in the church must have had the same thought—and they took it upon themselves to become Santa for our kids that year. You could do the same!

19. Sept 9 was International Buy a Priest a Beer Day. It doesn’t need to wait for one day a year—just sayin’. Allowing your pastor to relax and let their hair down with you goes a long way. I had one or two church members with whom I felt comfortable enough to share a beer or fill my dad’s pipe with tobacco on a fishing trip. This level of comfort makes a huge difference in developing authentic relationship.

Keep Your Pastor from Quiet Quitting the Church

In a previous article, “Pastors are Quiet Quitting the Church,” I discussed how pastors often feel overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated. These simple ideas, or some of your own, could go a long way to helping your pastor feel more loved. They can prolong your pastor’s determination to remain at their current ministry location. And they can keep your pastor from leaving or just giving in. When your pastor feels supported, they are more likely to give it their all. I hope you won’t let your church get to the end of October without expressing appreciation.