What do Macy’s Department Store and Confederate generals have in common? They’re both stumbling blocks that retraumatize people. Recently, I spent some time with my much-loved Uncle Ron, who is eighty. He’s a Vietnam vet who retired from the US Army after a full career of active duty. This loyal service member is as patriotic as they come, never one to completely retire from service to his nation. Even at this age, he continues to work full-time for a branch... Read more
It’s January–time to shed those extra holiday pounds. Here’s how to make prayer and meditation part of your fitness routine. In addition to a proper diet, regular exercise can help you get fit. But where does spirituality fit in? It’s been said, “You lose weight in the kitchen; you tone in the gym.” In this article, I’ll discuss how prayer and meditation can combine with exercise to form a complete spiritual practice. When Exercise Becomes a Time for Prayer... Read more
My last article discussed the decisions some pastors make to leave church ministry. Here, we’ll build your skills-based secular résumé. If you’re a minister who’s decided that it’s time to leave ecclesiastical work, you have soft skills that any employer would like to gain in an employee. The trick is convincing them of that. With a skills-based secular résumé, you can convince a hiring manager that you are the person they want. A Skills-Based Résumé: It’s just what it... Read more
Are you a pastor who’s decided to leave the ministry? Secular job hunting is different from a church search and requires different résumés. Ministry has so many pressures that nobody told you about before you went to seminary or Bible college. Once you got there, you heard stories of churches abusing their pastors—but you barely believed them. “After all,” you told yourself, “Pastors are the bosses of their churches. How could ministry be all that difficult?” The Struggle of... Read more
World Religion Day is on its way. How should (or shouldn’t) your faith group reach out to people of other religions? Every year on the third Sunday of January, World Religion Day promotes communication and friendship between people of different faiths. In this article, I’ll discuss how not to reach out to other religious groups. Then, I’ll give seven suggestions for productive interfaith relationships. Pretty Horrible, In Retrospect Back in college, I was part of a group that was... Read more
At an Evangelical summer camp, we used harsh tactics to get the kids saved, by any means necessary. Here’s my confession of spiritual abuse. Photo by RDNE Stock projectIn my last article, “Spiritual Abuse: Eternal Salvation by Any Means Necessary,” I discuss manipulative tactics Evangelical churches use to convert people. Most, including myself at the time, don’t see these techniques as abusive. Yet, church leaders can do a lot of damage with their strategies that are unthinking at best... Read more
A few months ago, my daughter told me that she experienced spiritual abuse in some of the churches I pastored. How did I respond to this? At first, I became defensive. Certainly, I couldn’t be guilty of spiritual abuse, I told her—because this is what I told myself. Then, I talked with my other children, who agreed with what their sister said. As I processed all this, I had to admit that perhaps some spiritual abuse had taken place in... Read more
Jesus has a secret name—a name given to him by a prophet, that nobody ever called him in life. You have a secret name, too—It’s the same one! Matthew 1:23 NIV reveals that private name: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, (which means “God with us”).” Of course, Matthew is quoting Isaiah 7:14. While it’s debatable whether this Hebrew scripture points to Jesus, Matthew certainly believed it to be so.... Read more
Are you tired of toxic positivity during the holidays? Is there anything about our festivals of lights that dispels the darkness? During the holiday season, windows shine with candles and boast beautiful bows. Icicle lights suspend from the eaves, while bushes lay covered with glittering electric snow. The air is filled with the sound of doorbells and sleighbells, and the aroma of schnitzel with noodles. Snowflakes stay on your nose and eyelashes, and all your favorite things make you not... Read more
It’s that time of year, when Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and the Island of Misfit Toys are too subversive for an Evangelical church. I was shocked when an angry church member took me aside after my sermon on welcoming misfits. The troubling thing is, she wasn’t alone. Others were just as horrified as she was. What do you think—did I go too far in an Evangelical church? Here’s the full text of the Sunday message: All About Misfits The... Read more
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