Person A presents with a grandiose sense of self-importance. He exaggerates both his talents and achievements, as he is completely caught up in delusions about his level of success and power. None of which are backed by reality in which his efforts are mediocre at best. Any success or power he does have is a result of exploitative and manipulative behavior. He has no capacity to care for others and will readily use and dispose of people as he sees fit. He believes that he is superior to others and expects to be recognized as such. He requires excessive admiration and is highly sensitive to both criticism and rejection. When faced with either he will lash out, most likely with verbal insults and empty threats. Inter-personally, he has a hard time maintaining relationships as most people find him shallow, arrogant, immature, and lacking in empathy.
Person A exhibits narcissistic personality traits, of which grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy are key. Within the Pagan community there seem to be quite a number of people fitting the profile of Person A. It makes sense that someone who is enamored with the idea of unlimited personal power would be attracted to traditions in which a central feature is the belief in magic. There is already an instilled belief that we are, in a sense, separate from mundane others by our unique abilities. Therefore, it’s a perfect place for Person A to pick up their broomstick and become the Narcissistic Witch.
As a member of our community, this is someone who:
- Walks around acting like they are the literal Supreme Witch of the Universe. This may include making absurd proclamations about their magical power and knowledge, dressing in gaudy costuming, or assuming titles/positions that aren’t earned.
- Frequently makes arrogant and haughty statements about how magnificent they are and how lowly others are in comparison. This most often occurs via social media on which they attack people of other magical traditions which they view as lesser than their own.
- Completely overestimates their achievements which others commonly find to be unsubstantial or average at best. For example, self-publishing a small book that simply contains material copy-and-pasted from other sources mixed with their own egotism.
- Expresses an overwhelming sense of entitlement and is astonished/furious when others do not accommodate their expectations. For example, expecting to be immediately accepted into a magical tradition and given oathbound material without any effort given on their part.
- Requires an unwarranted amount of admiration from others and throws temper tantrums when criticized or rejected. This includes shallow verbal insults thrown at the other person (typically either about their supposed lack of magical intelligence/power or simply about their appearance/character).
- Lacks empathy and has no problem using/hurting others for their own gain. For example, faking kindness in order to gain favors, making false accusations to try and defame their rivals, and making empty threats of powerful hexes/curses to try and scare people into submission.
So, what do you do when you encounter the Narcissistic Witch? Honestly, the best course of action is to ignore them to the best of your ability. Of course, this is particularly difficult due to the way they behave, which is both absurd and hurtful. But it’s important to recognize that, deep down, the Narcissistic Witch acts this way because they require a specific response from others, admiration. They will do whatever it takes to have their sense of importance validated by others, because without that they will quickly succumb to their inner feelings of worthlessness and unimportance. It doesn’t inherently matter whether the response to their actions is positive or negative, because the Narcissistic Witch thrives off both. In the case of negative feedback, they will respond by lashing out and using bullying techniques to stabilize their shaken ego. By attacking the character (intelligence and power) of others, even in ways that lack evidentiary support, they reassure themselves that they are superior. Therefore, by not giving in to their bid for attention, one effectively cuts the Narcissistic Witch off from their supply of life-force (for lack of better words). Within the Pagan community most of the interactions with the Narcissistic Witch occur via social media, the easiest and most effective way to banish them is to hit the block button. This also goes for any of their lackeys who may lash out towards you on the behalf of their master (it’s very similar to the way in which cults function). The benefits of blocking are numerous but the biggest is that you will no longer have to bear witness to the Narcissistic Witch’s ridiculous behavior and they will no longer be able to goad you into playing their game.
I know it’s hard to do nothing. We want so desperately to outsmart them, to show them just how ridiculous and hurtful they are being. Unfortunately, it is highly unlikely that they will ever be able to understand the fallacies of their arrogance and responding will only make things worse. Therefore, the best way to disarm the Narcissistic Witch is to understand how they operate and why, stand firm in your own personal power, and to ignore their desperate attempts to sustain their fragile ego.
Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy Behary