Five Landmark Films About Me

Five Landmark Films About Me August 31, 2016


It’s fun game time again. What if your life was a film by one of your favourite directors?

Here are mine:

Andrei Tarkovsky: Бессловесный (The Wordless One)

A writer’s relationship with her autistic son leads her to reflect on three important men in her life: her father, her husband, and God. The climactic image is of my son Ulysses by the pool. The pool is half-drained, full of algae, with a rip in the lining. A fringe of overgrown wild grapes bears fruit in the background. Ulysses is lying on the deck so that you cannot see his face. His hand strains casually towards some object hidden beneath the algae. The film is about the greening power of the spirit.

Lars von Trier: Queersborough

A naive lesbian gets sucked into a weird sectarian Catholicism after being seduced by her eccentric and increasingly unstable best friend. I’m very autistic in this one. Don’t watch the miscarriage scene.

David Lynch: Amanita Point

In this one I’m played by three different actors, one male, one female, one creepily androgynous. This isn’t explained: you’re just supposed to intuit that it’s the same character. A sinister manatee, who may or may not be real, appears frequently. Highlights include: the play mats in the white room, Thursday’s ear, fermentation, and the sumac menace.

Terry Gilliam: Tweed

In a surreal near-future dystopia, I play Starcraft against St. Thomas Aquinas and Michel Foucault, with real zerglings. Donald Duck is President of the United States. The Ghost of Elvis makes a cameo appearance. With the deft use of nanobots, Gilliam achieves previously impossible visual effects.

Akira Kurasawa: Katōmainā

The Culture War is re-imagined as the Roman civil war – set in Medieval Japan. I play Cato the Younger. The scene where I disembowel myself is awesome.

Image credit: pixabay
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