Think about organizing the closet. Think about reading. Think about writing. Clear out summer clothes from drawers. Wish you didn’t have Covid because if you didn’t, you would take down the Christmas tree. Think about grading. Ponder exercising in your room. None of these things will happen, we will simply consider that we could be doing this, but we’re not.
Covid is basically a stay in one place until it’s better sentencing that leaves one longing to do everything and anything but stay in one place. We watched Guy Fieri shake down seven chefs for his chicken franchise and googled where they are. Binge watching Iron Chef America when you can’t go in the kitchen to cook is probably a bad idea but we did it. It’s rather like watching travel shows when one can’t go anywhere…there’s another bad idea we already did.
We’ve resolved to dance every day we’re stuck in here. It’s a way of reminding ourselves to move, which being stuck in the same room all day does not. I’m also preparing to phantom drum –tap out the beats with the sticks, to help beat the monotony.
Watching the clock and thinking…what am I watching the clock for? That’s part of the crazy of having Covid when the symptoms are mild. You want to somehow get through it and somehow not waste the time you have and at the same time, the time crawls and seems to be excessive. The will to do seems to be more scant than one imagined.
All the promise of a day waits to be tackled, and covid can make one wait. It doesn’t matter that I organized my drawers, that was this morning. It doesn’t matter that I read, that was in mid afternoon and now it’s evening and I’ve watched a movie and feel like the day ran away without me. I tried to write but the website was down for a time. Eventually, I wrote on my computer the old fashioned way and let it sit.
The day felt like it tumbled past me. It didn’t, but there’s still so much I should have done including research, exercise, pray. The day feels unfinished. When I look at my day in terms of things done, it is a flunked experience. When I look at my day in terms of experiences –visited with my brother, wrote a letter to the school board, tried a new food –thanks to family that brought over soup, it is a seized day. Ultimately, the cloistered nature of Covid makes it feel like less happened than happened.
The nature of Covid masks the reality of the day. I pick up a book. It’s not too late to do all the things I’d hoped to do, and it’s not required that I do all I’d hoped. Covid reminds me to be the same person I’d be if Covid wasn’t here. I want to be better than just a bump on a log…so I’m going to read the book.
We all get one thousand four hundred forty minutes in a day, and while none of the time should be weighed, measured and found wanting if it’s not action packed, we should make sure there’s something about each day that leaves a mark on the heart, mind and body, or the soul itself will atrophy.
It will take willing something to ensure the day has not been found wanting. Day 3 of Covid…
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