On My UnBucket List

On My UnBucket List January 17, 2022

This past week, five of the six of us finally tested negative for Covid.

I’m the lone hold out.

To keep life interesting, on Thursday, one of the two furnaces in the house quit. Service men came out and fixed it just in time for my husband to come home.

The other furnace quit the next day.

Naturally, it was the weekend and a winter storm loomed.

Let me tell you what happens when only one furnace works. The kids are warm. The grown ups on the main floor, are not.

Waking to a balmy 55 degrees indoors, we took drastic measures, as the part needed to fix the furnace would have to be ordered and with the holiday, not delivered until Tuesday, or installed until Wednesday.

My daughter received an electric blanket for her birthday. Her siblings have been extraordinarily solicitous, letting her pick the television shows as long as they get to be partially submerged under this glorious piece of electrified fabric.

After a day of this, I considered wearing my shoes over two pairs of socks to bed. We did wear hats and gloves and two pairs of socks a piece. The bed currently have nine blankets layered.

Day 2: I’m considering getting three big dogs to add body mass.

During daylight hours, I’m also camped out in my son’s room. The change in temperature is so great, I’m expecting a thunderstorm to form if one of the kids takes a shower.

Day 3: The part comes in two days. We’ve taken to drinking tea if only to hold onto something warm for a few minutes. Kids are volunteering to unload the dishwasher and dryer. We’re all draped in blankets and warm towels.

The children pine for school, because school will have heat.

Now I know suffering can be redemptive, and that my problems while annoying and unpleasant are not grave, but Do-it-yourself yurts have all the glamor one might expect and I’m a lousy sufferer. Going anywhere cold, is on my un-bucket list. At one point, I considered telling my family, I’m driving until I get to some place where it is so warm, wearing more than a swim suit is too much.

On Day 3, we got rear-ended in our new car at a stop light because life wasn’t eventful enough.
On Day 4, we decided to be responsible and not go to the concert we’d bought tickets for as the roads had begun icing over and we didn’t want to leave the kids with marginal heat in a snow storm. Being an adult stinks.

Everyone agreed, all food must be cooked in the oven or on the stove. We don’t just want things heated, we want food saturated in heat which the microwave just can’t do.

In our family, there’s a joke we can’t quite tell. It starts with, “If this is the worst there is…” and whenever anyone starts saying it, everyone shushes them on the theory that to say this is the worst guarantees the universe will prove one wrong. So instead, I’ve turned to the Book of Job. Everyone say, “God, Your Will be done, we know nothing, we’re worms. Bless you.” and mean it…”Skip to the end” of the book when things improve.

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