WHEN REAL LIFE IS CREEPIER THAN STEPFORD A few friends and I caught a screening of the Frank Oz remake of The Stepford Wives last night. As my friend pointed out mid-way through the piece, “Satire is no longer possible in this society.” I think that is very true. How can you satire a society that is addicted to Fear Factor, WWF Smackdown and thinks that breeding human babies to suck the stem cells out of their brains is (yawn),... Read more

THREE THINGS I COUNT AS PET PEEVES… …are people telling me their dreams (what are you supposed to say? “Wow, hey, that’s pretty twisted. Good for your subconscious!”), people reading me their poetry (I have been eating crumbs off the table of THE Great Poet, Emily, for too long.), and people who talk about their pets (I grew up in the country, where animals primarily existed to fend off – and occasionally eat – the broad variety of pests –... Read more

I AND THOU? I came home Saturday from five weeks on the road to find that my cat, Tibby, was deathly ill. She wasn’t eating, was throwing up, not using her litter box and was lethargic and weak. I tried a couple of days of, “I’m home, Sweetie” therapy, but when she didn’t perk up, I took her to the Vet yesterday. Turns out Tibby has a major bladder obstruction requiring four days in the Feline Hospital (at an outrageous... Read more

MAKING THE UNTHINKABLE POSSIBLE See, this is the kind of thing I mean when I say that it is immoral for artists to smear their sick fantasies all over the rest of us. It is obscuring the issue to say people have a First Amendment right to vomit in the public square. The fact is, we, the viewing public also have the right not to have the cultural air we breathe polluted. Second-hand smut is bad for us. Nicole Kidman’s... Read more

MOUSE HOUSE SHOWS IT HAS HEART AND SOUL Time to give Disney some well-deserved kudos. They recently made a good choice and they deserve to hear plaudits from us. (I don’t care WHY they made the decision they did. The point is the result.) The executives found themselves confronted with two documentary projects that were seeking theatrical distribution. On the LEFT hand, was the latest Michael Moore snarling leftwing propaganda piece, Fahrenheit 9/11. The piece was being coddled by Miramax,... Read more

“BY THIS SHALL ALL MEN KNOW YOU ARE NOT MY DISCIPLES”… Clearly in the name of edifying the masses of nonbelievers, Icon Distribution and Regal Entertainment Group are going to court to conduct a litigious brawl about dividing up The Passion of the Christ box-office receipts. Both companies have Christians at the head. Icon is claiming that Regal owes it $40 million dollars. I don’t know who is right here. But I do know that I could almost hear a... Read more

MOORE CHEATING WESTERN UNION AGAIN Last Tuesday, elite Hollywood continued its self-defeating, every four year practice, of swallowing a little more of its own tail, with an over-the-top, no holds barred, A-list packed celebration of Michael Moore’s latest doc Fahrenheit 9/11. (The 10pm screening was post-poned for half an hour to accomodate the celebrities arriving from the overtime Lakers game…because political posturing does make us feel important, but basketball is really what life is all about.) Falling over each other... Read more

STUPID QUOTE OF THE WEEK “I think this is one of the most important films ever made…There are very few films or works of art that have a profound effect on world affairs – like Uncle Tom’s Cabin – but this actually has a chance to change the world.” Rob Reiner, after screening Michael Moore’s new documentary Fahrenheit 9/11 which asserts that President Bush is in cahoots with Osama Bin Ladin. Read more

EMILY MONDAY 771 None can experience sting who Bounty — have not known — The fact of Famine — could not be Except for Fact of Corn — Want — is a meagre Art Acquired by Reverse — The Poverty that was not Wealth — Cannot be Indigence. Read more

A NEW RENAISSANCE? Here is a snip of my next column for the National Catholic Register… Two of my sisters have advanced degrees in music. I myself went to graduate school for cinema, and I have spent the last five years teaching writers on both the graduate and undergraduate level. The main thing I have learned in the art classroom, is that classrooms have little to do with the creation of beautiful works of art. The achievement of a Master... Read more