The Ayatollah Khamenei is now demanding that all sanctions against Iran be lifted instantly. If not, he says, Iran won’t sign the framework agreement that was recently worked out with the United States regarding his country’s nuclear program.
The Ayatollah is also demanding that Iran’s Revolutionary Guards be given majority shareholder interests in Google and Amazon.com; that five million dollars be deposited in a Swiss bank account for each Iranian mullah; that Mr. Obama, Mr. Biden, and Mr. Kerry publicly wear leopard skin pants and propeller beanies for two consecutive weeks, starting no later than 1 May; and that every person in the supreme leadership of Iran be granted a two-week stay in a Hawaiian resort of his or her choice (that second pronoun appears only in the English translation of his remarks, not in the Persian original), with bed covers turned down every night and a box of high quality assorted chocolates placed in each room by 8 PM.
No.
Wait.
Okay.
April Fool’s Day was last week. Only one of the demands above has actually been made by the Ayatollah Khamenei.
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