“Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands”

As it often does, the investigative newspaper The Onion finds the news that others miss:

http://www.theonion.com/article/michael-phelps-spots-estranged-father-poseidon-sta-53494

Poseidon has been hiding from the paparazzi for centuries, but these Olympics have finally brought him out.  He’s always been a supporter of Greek athletic festivals.