“Aides Wrestle Drill from Trump’s Hands as He Tries to Remove Obama Listening Device from Skull”

Dramatic events at the White House, as reported by the nation’s foremost investigative news source:

http://www.theonion.com/article/aides-wrestle-drill-trumps-hands-he-tries-remove-o-55576

And then there’s this commentary, from the estimable David French:

“It’s Not Worth Sacrificing Anyone’s Integrity to Defend Trump’s Tweets”