Grant Hardy, Temples, and Arranged Marriages

Grant Hardy, Temples, and Arranged Marriages January 16, 2019

 

California's third temple, I believe
The San Diego California Temple   (LDS.org)

 

New, via the website of the Interpreter Foundation, a fifty-minute audio interview by Stephen Smoot:

 

“Studying the Book of Mormon with Grant Hardy”

 

And, of course, Professor Hardy was interviewed during the first hour of the Interpreter Radio Show on 13 January 2019, as well:

 

https://interpreterfoundation.org/interpreter-radio-show-january-13-2019/

 

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Something else that you might find helpful:

 

“Reflections on Come Follow Me 3: “We Have Come to Worship Him” (Matthew 2; Luke 2)”

 

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The work moves forward:

 

“Urdaneta Philippines Temple: Ground Broken by Church Leaders”

 

“CNN Addresses the Role the Vatican Played in the Rome Italy Temple”

 

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Some of you, I think, will enjoy this article:

 

“From Arranged Marriage to Temple Sealing: A Different Kind of Latter-day Love Story”

 

I once thought the idea of an arranged marriage perfectly abominable.  But I’ve changed my mind quite a bit.  After all, it’s not as if the American system of dating guarantees good choices or marital success.  Managing to be reasonably attractive over dinner before a movie is a nice thing, but it isn’t necessarily a reliable indicator of the skills and attributes (e.g., prudence, kindness, self-sacrifice, good financial management, and so on) that are bedrock to a good marriage.  Many a cad can be charming for short periods of time.

 

Moreover, as I’ve come to understand how the practice of arranged marriages works (in its ideal form), I’ve seen some strengths in it.  As the parents of the potential bride watch a potential groom and his family over a lengthy period (potentially over years), they’re very likely to notice any lethal problems (e.g., laziness, indiscipline, violent tendencies, alcoholism, criminality, etc.) that might be surprisingly easy to miss during a short-term courtship.

 

I don’t advocate arranged marriages, but, in cultures where they’re the norm, I don’t oppose them, either — as if my support or opposition is of any real significance! — so long as the final say belongs to the two potential spouses and so long as they aren’t forced or even pressured into a marriage contract that they really don’t want.

 

There is no single “right” way to select a spouse, although it’s very possibly the most important decision that any of us ever makes.  (Lucky me!)  But there are plenty of wrong ways.

 

Which reminds me of a passage in a book that I just started to read last night, Rolf Dobelli’s Die Kunst des klugen Handelns: 52 Irrwege, die Sie besser anderen überlassen (Munich: Deutscher Taschenbuch Verlag, 2014), 1, 3 (my translation):

 

“Let’s be honest.  We don’t know with certainty what makes us successful.  We don’t know with certainty what makes us happy.  But we do know with certainty what destroys success or happiness. . . .  We don’t need any additional cunning, no new ideas, no hyperactivity.  We just need less stupidity.”

 

 


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