Thank You, Iowa!

Thank You, Iowa!

 

Grant Wood's "American Gothic"
Grant Wood, “American Gothic” (1929)
Wikimedia CC public domain; click to enlarge
Though trained in Europe, the artist was born in Iowa and taught at the University of Iowa until his death, and this particular painting was inspired by a scene in the Iowa town of Eldon.

 

Well, Mr. Donald J. Trump, of New York City, came and gave Iowa a try.

 

Townspeople:
Oh, there’s nothing halfway
About the Iowa way to treat you,
When we treat you
Which we may not do at all. 
There’s an Iowa kind of special 
Chip-on-the-shoulder attitude. 
We’ve never been without.
That we recall.
We can be cold
As our falling thermometers in December 
If you ask about our weather in July.
And we’re so by God stubborn
We could stand touchin’ noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye.
But what the heck, you’re welcome,
Join us at the picnic.
You can eat your fill 
Of all the food you bring yourself.
You really ought to give Iowa a try. 
Provided you are contrary,
We can be cold
As our falling thermometer in December
If you ask about our weather in July.
And we’re so by God stubborn
We can stand touchin’ noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye.
But we’ll give you our shirt
And a back to go with it 
If your crops should happen to die.

Farmer:
So, what the heck, you’re welcome,
Glad to have you with us.

Farmer and Wife: 
Even though we may not ever mention it again.

Townspeople:
You really ought to give Iowa
Hawkeye Iowa
Dubuque, Des 
Moines, Davenport, Marshalltown,
Mason City, Keokuk, Ames,
Clear Lake
Ought to give Iowa a try!

 

His try for Iowa didn’t work out all that well for Mr. Trump.

 

Delightful!

 

I would have been even happier if Marco Rubio had beaten Trump for second place — he came surprisingly close — but the caucus results are really, really good.

 

And it appears that Hillary is going to hang on for a nail-biter victory over a 74-year-old New-York-accented socialist from the Very White State of Vermont, which is amusing in its own right.

 

 


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