Her eyes were wide with delight. “Again,” she said. “Again.”

Amazed at her language and reasoning skills, I pushed the button for the 12^th consecutive repeat of the song from Frozen.

Her head bobbed at the tune while watching the animated princess. And then the chorus came. “Let it go. Let it go.”

My heart melted, wishing she was mine. Wishing she could sing that song every day for the rest of my life.

Simple joy.

Letting go of strife

Back home, two-thousand miles away from this little girl the everyday burdens of life bear down.

Not one car is broken, but two. How many hundreds of dollars will that be? It seems like every visit to the shop starts at $300 and just goes up from there. There are other financial burdens that weigh on my midnight hour, the uncertainties dance in my brain.

And I’m facing the reality that I have arthritis in one of my hips. The idea of limited mobility frightens me. I treasure my trails and fishing and daily walks. Will that have to change? And the bigger question. Am I actually old enough to have these kinds of issues?

The kids are all grown now. They are older and on their own for the most part. They each have lives and some have their own families. The ideal in my brain of generations of families woven together is suddenly not so tidy. Divorce and dysfunction have affected all of us at one point.

The lines are not neatly drawn.

My grown children don’t share the same faith fervency, swallowed by ambivalence and the gods of the age. I am constantly dogged by the jarring facts of disbelief and I wonder if I contributed in any way.

My own relationships with family and friends often stutter like an out-of-tune auto. I over think my words and deeds, replaying the scenes in a stop and start freeze – frame. The broken relationships outnumber the healthy. Where did I go wrong?

Is there peace to be found? Can I let it go?

 The Bells of Christmas Day

The poem is 150 years old, a reflection of a nation torn by Civil War. The bells ring out, telling a  story that goes back two millennia.

 I heard the bells on Christmas Day

Their old, familiar carols play,

and wild and sweet

The words repeat

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,

The belfries of all Christendom

Had rolled along

The unbroken song

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till ringing, singing on its way,

The world revolved from night to day,

A voice, a chime,

A chant sublime

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth

The cannon thundered in the South,

And with the sound

The carols drowned

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent

The hearth-stones of a continent,

And made forlorn

The households born

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;

“There is no peace on earth,” I said;

“For hate is strong,

And mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;

The Wrong shall fail,

The Right prevail,

With peace on earth, good-will to men.”

Longfellow wrote the song, his own son paralyzed from a bullet taken in the Civil War. His wife had previously died from a fire. And still, he found peace. The story behind the song is a must read.

Between this simple poem and a little girl singing out of innocence, I have two lyrics on my heart this day.

“Let it Go” and “Peace on Earth”

This is my message song. How about you?