The Cobra Commander Dialogues: III.I.11

Originally posted on Atlas Shrugged: The Colossal Contradiction.

Cobra Commander: Alright I’m kind of getting fed up with all this.
John Galt: Well we good sir were already fed up! In fact we’re the most fed up, objectively speaking.
Cobra Commander: This isn’t a competition.
John Galt: My good sir everything is a competition, and I’m going to win this one the same way I’ve won all my others, by hiding and declaring that I’m the victor.
Cobra Commander: I don’t know why I continue to feel compelled to argue but you realize that hiding doesn’t mean winning right? You have to compete to win a competition.
John Galt: Only if you aren’t the best. My friends and I here are already the best, so the competition itself is merely perfunctory. Nothing but ceremony you see. Simply by existing we are the best, and we can prove it by not having to prove it.
Cobra Commander: Brilliantly circular logic as always.
John Galt: That’s it, I’m striking from this conversation!
Hugh Akston: And I’m joining him!
Cobra Commander: Joining him in giving up? What courage.
Hugh Akston: Oh no not giving up. For you see morality…
Cobra Commander: This isn’t going to be some dumb monologue is it?
Hugh Akston: Rather short by our standards actually.
Cobra Commander: Fine, get on with it. I need some time to warm up the tractor anyway.
Hugh Akston: Ahem, as I was saying. Morality is best derived from smart people making useful things. Actually I’m writing a book about it that would save the world if I ever let the world see it which I won’t.
Cobra Commander: Not two words of what you said made any sense.
Hugh Akston: That’s only because you haven’t read my book.
Cobra Commander: I don’t want to read your stupid book!
Hugh Akston: Fine! Because you can’t anyway!
Cobra Commander: You know I’d be upset that you’re preventing the world from having access to a ‘world saving invention’, but I kind of think you’re just not publishing that book because it’s drivel.
John Galt: Nonsense! It’s objectively the greatest philosophy ever, because I came up with it!
Cobra Commander: You can’t win at philosophy! That’s not how philosophy works!
Hugh Akston: Nu-uh! Can too! We just don’t feel like showing anyone because it’s too super special to share with folks.
Cobra Commander: Well anyway, from what I gathered through your nonsense basically you’re saying the height of moral truth is for geniuses to make stuff. Useful stuff.
Hugh Akston: But of course.
Cobra Commander: And despite my sincere disagreement of the title you yourself are a genius who is now not making anything.
Hugh Akston: Well…
Cobra Commander: It’s funny, because a lot of the people here I think of as monstrous jerks. But in your case I can’t really think of you as being immoral or even amoral since I’m pretty sure you’re just an idiot.
John Galt: Hey, stop making my strikers cry!