The Cobra Commander Dialogues: III.II.3

Originally posted on Atlas Shrugged: Bare Branches.

Cobra Commander: My it seems like she’s coming to.
Dagny Taggart: Guh… ugh… sorry about that.
Ragnar Danneskjold: Nonsense! Perfectly understandable. But if you’ll excuse me I’ll be off to visit my wife!
Dagny Taggart: YOUR WIFE!?
Ragnar Danneskjold: I am…. I am apparently one of if not the most handsome man on the planet, is it really shocking I’d have a wife?
Cobra Commander: I’m less shocked about the handsome thing myself, and more the… someone actually putting up with you side of things.
Ragnar Danneskjold: Ha ha! I’m actually married to Kay Ludlow, the beautiful Hollywood actress!
Cobra Commander: And what’s she doing here? Sheering sheep? Printing newspapers? Cleaning toilets?
Ragnar Danneskjold: Nonsense! She runs a restaurant and acts in plays!
Cobra Commander: Why don’t you have the greatest chef in the world run a restaurant?
John Galt: Whatever do you mean?
Cobra Commander: Okay well first I got the feeling this place was just for business types, and that you guys just did all these odd jobs as a break.
John Galt: This is, of course, true.
Cobra Commander: But you have the best doctor doctoring, and the best judge… well… I mean he’s here in case you need judging I guess. And even the best actress acting, so why not the best chef cooking?
John Galt: Well we… to join our little society you have to not only be objectively the best but agree with all of our philosophies.
Ragnar Danneskjold: Indeed! In fact we’re relatively sure there’s very few people left in the world who could join us. Dagny is probably the last woman!
Dagny Taggart: Gasp! I’m so flattered!
Cobra Commander: Really you shouldn’t be. But that’s a bit shocking. There’re billions of people on the planet and you’re saying that what… a couple of dozen can make it here?
John Galt: Actually a couple of thousand.
Ragnar Danneskjold: It’s just that among those thousand only about twenty or so really matter, like myself!
John Galt: But of course, and Ms. Taggart here obviously fits in with that group, which is why she’s one of the last people to join us. Since she’s so important to be considered the cream of the crop among a group of people already representing around .05% of the population of the world, obviously we’d never explicitly invite her to join and keep all of this a big secret from her.
Dagny Taggart: Well it does make perfect sense to me.
Cobra Commander: You’re all idiots. But on point. How could you even know who is the best?
John Galt: Why, obviously the best succeed!
Cobra Commander: But isn’t the whole point of your idiotic philosophy that the tyranny of the common man weighs down the best and brightest? Doesn’t it seem likely that the shackles of the masses would potentially keep you from having seen these geniuses you’re looking for?
Ragnar Danneskjold: Nope!
John Galt: Yes going to have to agree with my devilishly handsome friend here. Obviously this world is a horrible place for all the men, and the small handful of women, who truly deserve to succeed, putting countless hardships in their way. Which is why they succeed, but maybe not succeed as much as we would like them to have.
Dagny Taggart: It is a cruel, cruel world where someone like myself would only be amazingly wealthy, have numerous gorgeous lovers, be able to strike out in a career that offers me personal fulfillment, and be allowed to do mostly whatever I want.
Ragnar Danneskjold: A cruel, cruel world indeed.
Cobra Commander: I hate you all so much right now.