“He has sent me…”

By Daylen Bushman, written after sending his second son on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

“I am a child of God, and He has sent me here.”  Our Heavenly Father knows who we are and what we did before we came to earth and our potential and growth opportunities we have while we are in this mortal life.  Over the past few months, I have reflected on the love that our Father in Heaven has for us each as individuals.  As I watched Connor prepare to leave on his mission, I assumed (wrongly) that having sent Austin off on his mission would provide some sort of “been there done that” feeling that would buffer the emotional impact of the mission departure.  I was very wrong in that assumption.  I quickly learned that while my feelings and emotions were in peak rollercoaster form with Austin, I was able to experience that exact same rollercoaster ride when Connor left.

Going through the most recent missionary sendoff experience is what prompted much of the reflection on parenthood and the love I have for my children and how that compares with the love that our Heavenly Parents have for us.  I can imagine the family-style learning we did in the premortal life at the feet of our Heavenly Parents.  I can see the way they helped to nurture our talents and skills, similar to how we are able to nurture our children’s gifts and talents.  As the Lord showed Abraham in chapter 3 verse 22 and 23, “there were many of the noble and great ones; And God saw these souls that they were good, and He stood in the midst of them.”  We interacted with and learned from our Heavenly Father.  We were taught the principles of the gospel and eternal life and our Father then allowed us to leave His presence and come to earth.

I don’t remember my farewell from my heavenly family, but I can imagine it being very similar to the two I have experienced over the past two years.  I can picture the feelings of nervousness, joy, and hope we must have felt as we ventured out on our own to gain experience and, as verse 25 says, to “prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.”  I remember the excitement I felt as I departed on my own two-year mission.  I was certainly sad to bid farewell to my family, but the excitement and opportunity of what I was embarking on far outweighed that sadness.

Now, as a father, I have seen that same excitement from my sons as they began their service.  And now as a father, I have felt the joy and pain of seeing them leave.  I know that they have chosen to follow the plan and help others come back to our Heavenly Father, and that joy resonates.  But I also have the pain of not being able to talk to them daily.  Not being able to reassure them and comfort them when needed.  Not being able to laugh and joke and share those moments of peace and love.  I get comfort knowing that our Heavenly Father feels those same emotions after sending each of us off to Earth with our own farewell.  I can feel, in a very small way, the feelings of joy He must have felt as we chose to come to Earth.  I can feel, in a very small way, the feelings of hope He must still feel that we will “prove” ourselves and “do all things whatsoever the Lord” shall command us.  We are here to have joy, and His purpose is to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” He doesn’t just want us to live forever.  He wants us to live forever with Him.  He wants us to come home to our eternal Family.

Heavenly Father loves us.  He hasn’t left us alone.  He has sent His Son to provide a way.  He has sent us the Comforter to teach us all things and bring all things to our remembrance.  Perhaps these feelings I have when my children leave are simply bringing back to my remembrance the feelings that my Heavenly Father had when I left His presence.  I can imagine the same excitement I feel for them coming home soon is a reflection of the excitement He feels when we have almost completed our mortal journey and are on our way home to Him.  I am grateful to have these experiences and to have a glimpse of the perfect love our Father has for each of us.  We are His children.  He loves each of us.