Dear Shaunti: My husband is an involved dad, a leader at our church, the type of guy people look to for advice, and he goes over and above his requirements on the job. But he is often grumpy and withdrawn at home. He gets upset at the littlest things I say. He seems to think I’m hard to please, but I’m not! But his constant grumpiness has started to annoy me, to be honest, and then I do say things... Read more
Dear Shaunti: I’m married to a wonderful woman whom I dearly love. The problem is, she doesn’t believe it! No matter how much I tell her I love her, how hard I work to bring home a good paycheck, how often I take the kids or do the chores so she can have time to herself, she claims she “doesn’t feel it.” It boggles my mind! What else can I do? I’d take her on a cruise around the world... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My 8th grade son is getting involved in extra-curricular activities for the first time, finding out what he likes and making friends in a way he hasn’t before. Which is all great, but every new dodgeball clinic, basketball team and robotics program he signs up for is one more place I have to drive him! His dad is away on business a lot, and we don’t live near others who could carpool, so I’m the only chauffeur available.... Read more
Dear Shaunti: I’m always balancing my roles as a mom, wife and businesswoman, but I work almost entirely with men who don’t “get” how much more I have to juggle than they do—especially when there’s a problem at home. I recently had an especially stressful few days where my husband and kids were sick, I was nearing a deadline on a project, and I was at my wits end. Yet when I told my boss that I needed just a... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My husband makes a good income, and I always stick to our budget, but my husband is always nervous about my spending, and it makes me nuts. He’s not a control freak in any other area except this. He checks our bank account every day to see how much I have spent on clothes or gifts for the kids or new household decorations, or whatever. Yesterday, I officially lost it when I found him poking through my shopping... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My wife is constantly nagging me about taking care of myself, but I feel like I’m doing a good enough job where that is concerned. I work out sometimes, and try to eat healthy when I can, although I do enjoy some junk food! Lately, I’ve been noticing that she seems to be less receptive to my advances and doesn’t seem to be as passionate about me as she was before. She keeps bugging me to go out... Read more
Dear Shaunti: My husband has an anger problem, and I don’t know how to handle it. We’ve always had “intense discussions,” but lately he’s been getting furious and walking away. Last night, we got into a fight on our way out of a restaurant, just because I told him that he shouldn’t have eaten so much, and he definitely shouldn’t have had dessert. He actually walked away and left me standing at the door! It was a good thing I... Read more
Dear Shaunti: I am a female attorney, age 29, working at a large and prestigious litigation firm. I have a law degree from a top-five school, graduated near the top of my class, am smart, experienced and able to handle any case that is thrown at me. Yet at my firm I am surrounded by men, and have had a difficult time getting them to take me seriously. One of our HR directors recently told me that she felt the... Read more
Dear Shaunti: I’m so angry with my husband that I could spit. Every now and then Dave ignores a much-needed opportunity for us to be together, and does something else instead. Like last weekend: after months of working overtime, we recently had a day all to ourselves. The kids were even at a sleepover with friends! Dave was going to help his friend move for a few hours, then we were going for a long bike ride (a special thing... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My husband says I always want things my way. And he’s right to a certain extent because, honestly, in my mind, there are just right and wrong ways to do things. The house simply should be neat instead of messy. Is that too much to ask? Or no, he shouldn’t let the kids spread their homework all over the kitchen table, thirty minutes before dinner. My husband feels like I’m criticizing him, and I’m not really: I just... Read more
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