A Few Corporate Lessons

Just got this from my sister.. hillarious and useful indeed! These are old jokes.. but someone has drawn out some corporate lessons out of them.. worth reading!

CORPORATE LESSON # 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower & the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over who should
go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a
towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $ 800 just to drop that
towel that you have on”. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel
and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a close look at her for a few
seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in
the towel and goes upstairs.

When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower “Who was
that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies.
“Great,”
the husband says, “did he say anything about the $! 800 he owes me?”

MORAL OF THE STORY: Share critical credit information with your stakeholders
to prevent avoidable exposure!

CORPORATE LESSON # 2

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he
stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and
crossed her legs,> forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The
priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he
stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately
said, “Father, remember psalm 129?” The priest was flustered and apologized
profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to
remove his eyes from her leg.

Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, “Father, remember psalm 129?” Once again the priest
apologized.

“Sorry sister, but the mind is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun got
out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the
church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said,
“Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory.”>

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss
great opportunities!

CORPORATE LESSON # 3

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who
found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears.

Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, “Next
to you! all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run
towards the pool and jump, you shout What you want the pool of water to
become, then your wish will come true.”

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted
WINE”.
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so
happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian’s turn, he did
the same and shouted, “VODKA” and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, “BEER”. He was so contented
with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was running towards the pool
when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and
shouted, “SHIT!!!!!!!………”>

MORAL OF THE STORY: Mind your language, you never know what it will land you
in.

CORPORATE LESSON #4

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a
meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub
the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says,”Normally, one is granted three
wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each”

So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in
the Bahamas,on a fast boat and have no worries. “Pfufffff, and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted ” I want to be in
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. “Pfufffff, and he
was also gone.

The boss calmly said, ” I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch
“.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Never forget that whatever you do you are not away from
the notice of your boss.