Regina Hayes, a high school counselor and two-time cancer survivor, has faced unimaginable challenges on her journey of faith and resilience. Diagnosed with both salivary gland and breast cancer, Regina’s story is one of overcoming adversity, finding strength in faith, and discovering purpose through community support. Now, she shares her powerful experience to inspire and uplift others who may be navigating similar paths
Facing Cancer: Navigating Two Different Diagnoses with Faith and Strength
Dr. TAS: Can you share about your initial cancer diagnosis and what went through your mind when you learned you had salivary gland cancer and breast cancer?
Regina Hayes: My reactions to the two diagnoses were worlds apart. In December 2012, my dental hygienist noticed some fatty tissue in my mouth. My dentist thought it was minor but referred me to an oral surgeon, who sent the tissue to pathology. When the positive diagnosis came back, I didn’t feel much emotion. I followed instructions in automatic mode, without questions or fear. It was caught early, so I only needed surgery, no chemotherapy or radiation. It felt like a fluke, so I didn’t feel like I’d truly “battled” cancer.
After returning to work and resuming my daily routine, a coworker was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was her second bout, and that was the first time I heard that cancer tends to return, sometimes in a different spot. This planted a seed of caution in my mind.
Fast forward to August 2022. During a routine mammogram, I learned I had breast cancer. After a biopsy, I discovered I had three tumors in my right breast. This time, it felt serious. My mind went straight to my nephew-son, who was only 12 years old. All I could think was, I have to see him graduate. Tears filled my eyes as memories of our times together rushed through my mind. I knew I needed to be there for that milestone in his life.
Transitioning from Giver to Receiver of Support
Dr. TAS: As a school counselor, you’re known for helping others. How did it feel to be in a position where you needed support from others?
Regina Hayes: I’ve always been the helper, and accepting help didn’t come naturally to me. I kept working, attending appointments, and dealing with things mostly on my own. But my coworkers were amazing. They took on extra work so I could focus on recovery, giving me the freedom to miss days as needed. Even though I wasn’t completely reliant on others, I learned to appreciate their support when they offered it.
This experience taught me a lot about humility and the value of community, showing me that strength often comes from allowing ourselves to lean on others.
Learning Vulnerability and Finding Strength in Others
Dr. TAS: What did you learn about vulnerability during this time?
Regina Hayes: Vulnerability has never been easy for me. However, I found that I could be vulnerable with my nurse navigator, Christy, who was a lifeline when I needed her most. She was always available and listened to me cry, helping me through my darkest days. Christy taught me that vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s a way to heal and an essential part of facing challenges head-on.
Faith and Spirituality Through Treatment
Dr. TAS: Many people find that their faith is tested during serious illness. How did your faith evolve?
Regina Hayes: My relationship with God deepened as I leaned into my journey of faith and resilience. Each step of the way, I saw the power of faith in action, especially during moments when I felt most vulnerable. For example, a friend offered to take me to my first chemo session, right when I thought I’d have to go alone. Looking back, I know that these small miracles strengthened my spirit, guiding me through my hardest days.
How Family, Friends, and Community Support Aided Cancer Recovery
Dr. TAS: What role did your family, friends, and faith community play in your healing process?
Regina Hayes: My family and friends were my backbone. My sister shaved my head with compassion and even cut her own hair short in support.
My friends took me to surgery and stayed with me afterward, while my coworkers provided care packages and other friends offered endless prayers and support.
Unexpectedly, I found incredible strength in online breast cancer groups. Embracing my identity as a “Flattie,” I realized I could feel beautiful and whole without breasts. The support from these groups was life-changing, giving me a newfound sense of community and pride in my journey.
Finding Solace in Scripture and Prayer
Dr. TAS: Were there any specific scriptures or spiritual practices that provided comfort?
Regina Hayes: Stillness became my comfort. In quiet moments, I felt God surrounding me, holding space for my fear and doubt. Those times of stillness helped me focus on myself, my needs, and my journey. I learned that I am never truly alone in this battle. In these still moments, I felt His presence and patience, which comforted and reassured me in my weakest moments.
Sharing the Story: A Path to Empowerment
Dr. TAS: What has it been like preparing to share your story publicly?
Regina Hayes: It’s been nerve-wracking. Although I almost changed my mind, once I started writing, it was impossible to stop. By sharing this experience, my hope is that others feel less alone. Knowing that someone else has faced a similar journey and made it through can bring comforth.
Dr. TAS: What do you hope readers take from your story?
Regina Hayes: I hope readers see that they’re not alone. Finding a support network, whether online or in person, is crucial. Cancer Services provided me with supplies and financial support. Use the resources available to you, and embrace support from people who have been where you are. No one should go through this journey alone.
Cancer’s Impact on Counseling and Connections
Dr. TAS: Has your experience with cancer changed how you approach your role as a counselor?
Regina Hayes: Yes, it’s made me more open with my students. When they asked about my head coverings, I shared my hair loss with them. I’ve become less worried about what others think and more focused on forming genuine connections with my colleagues and students, even if it’s outside my comfort zone. This experience has allowed me to connect deeply with those around me, enhancing my work and my life.
Finding Community in a Time of Isolation
Dr. TAS: Cancer can be isolating. How did you find community?
Regina Hayes: Cancer is only isolating if you let it be. Many people have been touched by it, so there’s comfort in connecting with those who understand. Local Cancer Services, social media groups, and advocacy organizations offer endless resources and a sense of belonging. I found mentors, a therapist, and a nurse navigator who were always there when I needed them. Don’t close yourself off; accept the resources offered to you.
Advice for Newly Diagnosed Cancer Patients
Dr. TAS: Looking back on your journey, what advice would you give someone newly diagnosed with cancer?
Regina Hayes: Allow yourself to feel everything, and don’t go through it alone. Surround yourself with family, friends, and a support group. Know that tears and struggles are part of the journey, but remember that many people beat cancer. Believe that you are one of them. You are a warrior. You can do this. Finding a supportive community is key to resilience.
Faith, Transformation, and Healing
Dr. TAS: How can faith and openness to transformation help in the healing journey?
Regina Hayes: Faith is often the one thing that can keep you going. The journey is long, and there are hard days. Leaning into faith and being open to change is essential. Cancer means redefining who you are and finding a new normal. Embrace the transformation as part of healing, and trust that there’s beauty in becoming the new version of yourself.
Carrying the Inspiration Forward
Regina’s words show the remarkable power of resilience, faith, and community. Her journey is a testament to the strength within us all, even when faced with life’s hardest battles. May her story remind us that, despite challenges, we can find purpose and hope one day at a time. Let this be a call to lean on faith, embrace our support systems, and carry forward the courage we discover within ourselves.
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