Blending Your StepFamily 28: Winning the Battle

Blending Your StepFamily 28: Winning the Battle March 12, 2014

Lord of the Rings is an exciting tale of an evil Dark Lord, Sauron, who created the “One Ring” by which to rule all the other “Rings of Power.”  The One Ring was the ultimate weapon in his campaign to conquer and rule all of Middle-earth.  Whoever had possession of the ring, could rule.  The Hobbit Frodo ended up with the ring but the battle for it enraged.  At one point Frodo could go no further, the battle between good and evil had drained him. He and his Hobbit friend Sam were on the good side battling evil.  Sam told Frodo a heroic line “Frodo, I can’t carry the ring for you but I can carry you.”  There was a lot at stake for all of them.  They had to win otherwise evil would be the victor and they would be consumed.

This is a really good picture of what Christ does for us.  He may not take away the trial or the pain but He will carry us through it.  He won’t leave us to battle alone.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Ephesians 6:12

When the fall of mankind occurred in the Garden, man allowed evil to rule the world. Before the fall Adam and Eve only knew good.  The enemy tricked them and they disobeyed the one thing God asked them not to do:  “Do not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.”  They partook and now people know both good and evil.  Now bad things happen to good people.  We are in a battle to hold onto the good things that are rightfully ours:  Love, joy, peace, prosperity and fulfillment.  These were in abundance in the garden and they didn’t have to work for any of them.  Once they disobeyed, they allowed for evil to reign.  Satan is called the “Father of Lies” and the “Ruler of the kingdom of the air”.  He is roaming around seeking to tempt us to do evil.  The first murderer was Adam and Eve’s own son Cain who killed his brother.  You can bet they were sorry they listened to the father of lies and thus gave him authority in the earth to harass mankind.  Our sin will promise more than it delivers and take us further than we want to go.  Eve thought the promise of being like God and knowing good and evil would be great.  But the cost of knowing good and evil has been immense, now we all suffer with knowing evil.

We are not only in a battle with evil principalities, but we are in a battle with our own flesh.  Our flesh likes to get revenge when someone mistreats us, it likes to have it’s own way and be selfish, it likes to gratify it’s desires even when it hurts others.  Just think about the person committing adultery.  That sin may feel really good at first; the flirtations, the feeling of someone thinking they’re special, maybe getting the attention they don’t get at home.  It feels good to their flesh.  It feels good to be wanted.  And the enemy loves it because if he can destroy another home, he knows everyone involved will suffer somehow, particularly the kids.


So how does any of this tie in with our blended families?  Our families can become battlegrounds, can they not?  Our selfishness gets in the way of serving one another.  Instead of serving others, we want them to serve us.  And then we have Satan and his demons whispering in our ears about how a family member has wronged us.  This is he:  “I can’t believe they did that to you, and I can’t believe they had the nerve to say that to you.”  His voice will sound like ours, he’s agreeing with us so that the battle will continue.  He’s the only one who wins when we are at war with each other.  He’s enjoying himself just watching us.  So we have a choice.  And it’s a hard one.  Do we fight with our loved ones?  Or do we fight with our loved ones against all the things that are coming against us?   How do we conquer the battles?  How do we gain the peace we desire?

It’s on our knees. Prayer is a mighty weapon but it must be used.  And we must believe when we pray.  One time I was in a desperate situation and I was begging God yet again for Him to do something.  He quietly told me in my spirit, “Quit begging me and start believing me for the answer”.

I had the prayer but I didn’t have the faith to go along with it.  Now I’ll pray until I do have the faith and if I just can’t get it, I ask God to help me with my unbelief.  He loves it when we are honest with Him because He already knows that we are finding it hard to believe Him for the answer anyway.

Prayer is a tool God has given us to defeat our enemy and the evil that comes against us.  It is mighty and powerful.  It can be accomplished anywhere and at anytime.

God says in Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

He is available to us anytime we call.  He’s never too busy and never not interested.  He cares about what we are going through.  He didn’t intend for us to suffer but since we do, He is there to help us through.  He will carry us.  That’s the difference between those who walk with God and those who don’t.   We have Him to carry us through.  That’s a really big deal to me.  Knowing that my Heavenly Father knows what’s going on and that He actually cares.  And He doesn’t leave me to go it alone, He carries me through.  He walks with me.

Of course, we have to confront and discuss when issues come up, but we don’t have to give the enemy any ground in our homes.  He wants to divide us; he wants nothing more than to see our family fall apart.  He wants it to be us against them and because you are in a blended family, you know what I mean.  Bloodlines will usually side with bloodlines.  But what if we could become one family that serves God together?  Would that not bring glory to our Father in heaven?  You may never feel exactly the same about your stepchild as you do your own children, there are so many variables involved, but you can choose to love them and be committed to them.  And you can choose to do your part to make the relationship work.

Hebrews 12:14  “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”

Peace is one of the benefits offered to us in Christ.  But we have to choose to live at peace; so much as it depends on us, with all men.  We can’t make others choose to be at peace with us, but we can offer it to them and then remain in peace ourselves.

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