Why COVID Is A Stupid Virus
Welcome to the New America. Dubbed ‘God’s Comic’ by the New Yorker, for 16-years, Brad Stine has been the comedic trailblazer of politically incorrect, Christian and Conservative comedy. His new show, ‘Brad Stine Has Issues’, covers cultural issues with his signature brand of comedic sarcasm and satire with insight that will be appreciated by everyone who loves laughter, liberty, and the freedom to tell the truth without fear.
I am so happy to be here. I’m so excited to see this miracle take place – human beings sitting next to each other! No masks, yet somehow surviving! America is back!
I love this! Thank you for the applause. I love applause!
I’m going to tell you why – it is a tradition, and we need it! You know why? Because I don’t know you, you don’t know me, so applause is our way of shaking hands… with the added bonus of I don’t have to touch you people. Because I don’t want to. And this was long before Corona. See, touching strangers never made sense to me. Did it to you See, when we shake hands, we touched strangers. But that never happens any other time. You don’t go to church and sit next to somebody you’ve never seen before and say, “Well, you’re a stranger. I’ve never seen you before. So, scratch my back, would you, please? Thank you. How do you like our church? Hey, wait till I greet you with a ‘holy kiss’!” That’s what I’m saying. It’s Biblical!
I am excited because I love traditions. And let me tell you something, my friends: no great nation ever survived if we didn’t keep our traditions. And we need to keep them here in the United States of America. It’s still the greatest nation the world has ever known. Keep that in mind.
This Corona thing has gone crazy. Listen, I’m so grateful that we’re trying to get on the other side of that. I don’t want anybody hurt by this, and i’m so grateful that we found how to help people. But I’m just curious – next time a virus hits that it’s got a 99.9% survival rate, maybe we shouldn’t, I don’t know, shut down earth?! Maybe we should let people go to eat and not be concerned about toilet paper. I’m just throwing it out there because I want to know – How did we get so frightened by a virus that is so stupid it can’t find you when you sit down? I’m no doctor, but this is what they’re saying: You walk into a restaurant, put a mask on, because the virus is everywhere. Then you sit down, take it off, the virus has no idea where you went! This is what we’ve shut this country down for!
The virus is like, “Where’d they go? Where’d they go? They were right here, and now suddenly they’re gone. What has happened?”
I mean, when did a chair become a miracle drug? That’s what I want to know. Apparently, we didn’t need a vaccine. All we had to do was keep seated. We can open the entire earth back now – just stay in your chair!
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