Disinformation Information Specialization
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls—welcome to the Idiocracy—Banana Joe’s Republic, episode 14 of Season 2. I’m your host and Disinformation Information Specialist, Thor Ramsey, fighting the rising tide of wokeness one joke at a time.
It sounds made up, but in the United States of America, the land of the free and home of the brave, we now have a Disinformation Governance Board, otherwise known as the Ministry of Propaganda and Public Enlightenment. Or at least it was during the tenure of Goebbels in Nazi Germany. What’s impressive is how sensitive progressives don’t see the direct parallel. So, to answer the question, “Could it ever happen again?” Yes, but they’ll all feel like they’re doing the right thing when they put you in camps. Is this why the Boy Scouts now accept everyone? “We’re all going to camp, kids!”
The first question is—how can you govern disinformation when your administration is the source of it? What’s next? Putting Keith Richards in charge of The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms?
If they were as concerned about the economy as they were about enforcing the narrative… they’d be canceling gas prices instead of tweets. That’s like saying you want to do something about the drug problem in America, but in your own family… oh, wait. Maybe that’s a little too close to home. Sorry, Joe. Didn’t mean to bring that up.
Spoke-ah-z-perzon Jen Psaki said Trump started the Disinformation Governance Board. Then she just went on with her day while the rest of us waited for that little thing called evidence. I was baffled until I found out this was her audition for CNN.
This just in from the U.S. Ministry of Truth: North Dakota isn’t real. (Follow the U.S. Ministry of Truth on Twitter.)
Biden quoted his father saying, “The greatest sin of all that anyone could commit was the abuse of power.” So, the apple does fall far from the tree.
Let’s look at just a few of President Banana Joe’s abuses of power. First, the Ministry of Thought Control—a clear abuse of power. By someone. Maybe not Joe. Can he even control his own thoughts? “Harvey says that Pooh-Puten is gonna get it.” It’s like Biden is living in a sequel: The Return of Donnie Darko.
Second is the Biden Administration’s desire to override parental authority, which favors some third-grade teacher who believes Randall is a girl. Puberty blockers? How about Biden Administration blockers?
Joe Biden has issued more executive orders than any other president in U.S. History. Now, I don’t know if that’s a fact, but he’s issued a lot, is the point. Okay, given some reflection, that’s not a true statement either. The people that control Joe Biden have issued more executive orders than any other puppet regime in American history, not including Mister Rogers.
Speaking of abuse of power. How about “10% for the big guy.” Unless this was Hunter’s way of saying he would tithe part of his kickbacks to church.
But where did this abuse of power start? Remember that guy named Obama who spoke to the Big Tech companies expressing his happiness about their attempts to censor “truly dangerous content.” And yet somehow, Mark Hamill remains on Twitter. So there’s even nepotism in the Force.
Obama even said that Big Tech could only do so much, and “it doesn’t go far enough,” hinting that Big brother might need to step in. You think they could have just gone to Al Gore to solve this problem since he invented the internet. After all, it runs on an algorithm. Ba-da-bing. It can’t be that complicated. Have you ever seen him dance?
What will this Disinformation Governance Board do? Well, according to Tulsi Gabbard, the Democrat that all conservatives have a crush on, the board would “work through the mainstream media” to spread whatever the chosen narrative was — and that it would do so at taxpayer expense, trying to “drown out anyone with alternate views.” I’m a little confused. Why do we need a Disinformation Governance Board when we have Facebook? And CNN? And MSNBC? And ABC, NBC, CBS and Disney, and every Netflix series and film in Hollywood?
She also argued that the board would “silence dissenting voices through intimidation.” What are they gonna do? Threaten that Biden will run again?
Gabbard also said, “We’re not letting you get away with this crap. We will take a stand, we will reject it, and we will throw out of office those who are continuing to push and propagate this undemocratic, anti-free speech mission.” Wow. If I wasn’t already married… I know it’s late at night, but I gotta tell ya, I’d vote for her.
The only good thing that might come out of the Disinformation Governance Board is that when Disinformation Governance Board: The Musical starring Nina Jankowicz is released—it will be censored. I did a musical parody during season one. I still hate myself for it.
And if you’d like to hear me sing another musical parody, send your request to P.O. Box 555, Pueblo, Colorado 55555. But, folks, it’s not over ’til the fa… okay, we can’t say that? It’s not over until the Easter Bunny says it is. Say goodnight, Joe.
Here’s some news from Hollywood. Joe Biden and the Easter Bunny have signed a three-picture deal. The first one, slated to come out last week due to time-travel differences, is called Tell Me About the Rabbits, where the Minister of Truth keeps assuring Joe that if he does his job, he’ll be able to retire one day and go to a farm.
Their second feature is called What’s Up Doc… tor Fauci? Barbara Streisand reprises her role as the daffy girl. Fauci is the square professor. The two lock themselves in a hotel room, isolating themselves from society while the rest of us wish it was real.
And their final adventure will be a live-action version of The Tortoise and the Hare. It’s a tale of how the Tortoise wins the race with the help of Big Tech. And the Easter Bunny’s ability to hide things, like ballots.
What’s perplexing about the left is that they want to restrict my right to say “abortion is murder” but want to allow the murder of babies. Yeah, I’m waiting for a punch line too.
Last night after writing this program, it came to our attention that the Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade had possibly been leaked. Next week we’ll do a special episode about all the people in this country who are about to lose their minds. But let me say this, I had eggs for breakfast this morning. And I noticed the carton said “cage-free” eggs because this is a pressing moral issue for people in our culture today—a chicken’s quality of life. “Is that poor chicken just locked in a cage pooping out eggs for my consumption?” And yet, to be concerned about a chicken’s apartment complex and still be pro-abortion is to be guilty of colossal hypocrisy. Oh, I know, I know, the baby’s viability in the womb. Folks, I have Thanksgiving dinner with relatives who aren’t viable yet. One man’s viability is another man’s brother-in-law. So, as our world is about to get even crazier, tune in next week for our special on Roe, Roe, Roe, You’re Out!
That’s our program for today. If you’d like our program to be funnier, send us a check. Right now, Ron and I spend about ninety minutes writing this thing. Most comedy programs have dozens of writers who work forty-hour weeks. I can be funny too if you give me a bunch of funny writers.
I want to thank our director, Jefferson Drexler, our executive producer, Joel Fieri, our social media master, Danny Avila, and my co-writer Ron McGehee. I want to thank Christopher Shawn Shaw, our joke tester—who samples every joke for toxic content. (May he rest in peace.) I’d also like to thank Ron Bass for our new intro graphics.
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I’m Thor Ramsey, and I hope you’re less woke America.
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