Trusting with Knowledge: How to Form a Real Community

At one point in my life if anyone mentioned “building community,” I would run away. This phrase is the equivalent of someone saying: “Let’s talk.” My mind goes blank and I have nothing to say . . . as hard as that is for some of my past bosses to believe. In the same way, if someone says “Let’s build a community” I know two things. They do not have a community. They have no idea what an authentic community is.

More of us are suffering from “misanthropy” . . . a general hatred of people . . . including ourselves . . . and one cause might be “communities” that are false. Nothing makes a man hate other men more than forced fellowship. If the youth group leader hypes up “fun and fellowship,” you can be sure there will be neither.

True fellowship has many elements, but there are two that everybody wishes were not needed, but are necessary (if not sufficient). Community takes time and suffering. Since it is hard to market either element: time is money and suffering does not sell.

Christians should get this easily: the disciples were bound together through years of following the Master and the crucible of Holy Week. They had blown it together, were being persecuted together, and were laboring together for a cause greater than self. The historical record of the early church says:

32And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common.

When a foolish youngling in Bible college, I read this as “socialism” and spent hours trying to understand. Then one day I realized: they had all things in common. If I owned it, then it was part of our cause. Who doesn’t do this at a good church? If you need a book, I give it to you if I have it! If you need lunch, come on over, but this is not mostly about money, food, or property.

It is a spirit of unity produced by a vision that is not imposed from an inner ring, but rises from time and shared experience.

I just spent two days learning with some of the faculty of The Saint Constantine School.  The leadership team of the school has as much as a decade of shared experience, shared suffering, and a common vision. The pleasure of their company is great . . . even when they have to tell me I am wrong. This is critical. Too may Christian ministries rely on a top-down model of leadership where a “shared vision” consists of an email sent out explaining the vision for the year.

This is not community and it cannot endure the times we face. Real leadership listens. A godly leader speaks what he thinks is the Word of the Lord and then is accountable to the community for that Word. His gifts make a way for him. He is not the leader because of the office, but in office because he is the leader.

The noble pagans understood this better than many Christians.  Plato says: “For misanthropy rises from trusting someone implicitly with a lack of knowledge.” (Phaedrus)

God help us if we trust a demagogue or a glib salesman with our nation or worst of all: with our souls. We hear what we wish to hear from the “music man” who sells us a band and then hustles off to the next town leaving us broke and with useless instruments and uniforms. This burns us out on real community and we learn to distrust and fear people.

By the time we hear a real vision, with genuine passion, we are scared, dubious, and doubtful. We have been hurt too many times by fake community.

God help us, but we must do better. We must learn to trust . . . but as Ronald Reagan said about the Soviets: verify. I love my pastor (Father Richard!), but this is a trust based on knowledge. Over four years Father has proven to be wise, steady, and good. I trust him because I know him. I do not trust him for his doctorate or his titles. Instead, I know he has earned the titles because he is a good priest.

This is more rare than you might think!

Let’s not become cynical about people. If we enter every discussion or relationship with distrust, then nothing good can grow. If we set up organizations that are built on fear, and even Christian organizations can be built of bullying, firing, and fear, then we will not have genuine community. We must flee this whatever the cost.

Instead, we must build real relationships based not on money, power, or fear, but on knowledge of virtue and on love for each other. This is real community and only real community can survive a cynical age.