Another Day to Listen to Women

Today, I am told, is International Women’s Day.

I am not sure who makes such decisions, but I am a fan of any excuse to have a party or reflect on something of importance. As a man, what am I doing for International Women’s Day?

My plan is to listen to the women around me some more. The women I know do not need me to define womanhood, tell them what to do, or even to opine on the nature of “Women’s Day.” They do not even need me to listen to them.

I get to listen to the women’s voice around me. That is good for me, because women are created in the image of God and missing a woman’s voice is to miss one way God has chosen to express the Divine Image.

How best to listen?

I must recall the importance of hearing all the people in my life including womankind. I know what I think, hearing other points of view is critical to grow! Missing the voices of over half the human population because I will not listen is soul crushing.

The “otherness” of the woman’s voice gives a different perspective that can produce new insights. The basic overwhelming shared humanity that is there with a different voice reminds me that my expression of humanity is not the only one.

I must be quiet and work at listening. That sounds obvious, and is easy to say, but for an opinionated person is not be easy to do. When talking to any person, listening is key, but men particularly are not good at listening to women. If this is true, and it seems likely, then some good work is needed to conquer this liability.

Listening is an honor and not a right or a condescension on my part. Nobody is “lucky” if I listen, I am lucky to hear. A good person listens because that is the right, just, and prudent thing to do and does not expect a pat on the back for moral behavior.

I should not anticipate a prize for being merely a decent human or doing what is actually in my best interest! To paraphrase Jesus, when a man listens and learns, then he has just done the minimally decent thing and is still an unprofitable servant!

Realizing I don’t have to set the agenda. People like to talk about what they like to talk about and sadly many of us  become “bored” when the topic is not one we would pick. For whatever reason (social or biological), women in my culture do not always pick my favorite topics for social discussion. That means I should broaden my interests and not just work to steer every conversation to my preferred chat topics.

Knowing that listening does not have to include any response. If I listen, I often need to reflect. If I am not being asked for the solution to a problem, then I should not hastily volunteer one.  If someone shares an anecdote, I do not have to relate to it by sharing one of my own. There is no rule saying I (or any man) always needs the last word.

Woman are speaking and with God’s blessing and their permission I will get to listen.