Seventy-three years ago one little boy was disappointed. He got a very nice suit of clothes, what used to be called “church clothes,” but they had short pants. He had been hoping, trusting, that at ten he was ready for long pants, but his mother decided otherwise. Given the financial conditions of the times, where one wore out clothes before replacing them, that was going to take some time.
Why did my dad want long pants for his birthday?
Long pants were a sign of maturity, coming adulthood. Short pants were for little children and not lads. He felt ready to be a big boy, but his mother said: “Not yet.” Of course, he soon graduated from knickers and when I asked today, he was indeed wearing some khakis. He is a grownup. The outer signs match the inner reality.
I was thinking of this story today as my dear-old-dad celebrates his birthday. He is, of all the men I have known, most worthy to wear grownup clothes. We do not have many outer signs of further maturity after childhood’s end. He earned a wedding ring when Ann Combs said “yes,” but he earned his grownup clothes with decades of faithful marriage.
He served for decades as a pastor, denominational leader, willing to take hard stands for the sake of integrity. When he put principle over profit, he earned some metaphorical long pants.
Dad keeps growing and so it is too bad we do not have some special robe, some mark, some reward, that would celebrate his maturity. His children and grandchildren are left with only words to say: “You are not just an adult, but a grown man. This is a process that never ends, that stretches toward eternity, as you reach the full mark of what it is to be a man.”
We are confused at times by the nature of being human. As I grow older, the cult of youth, worship of being young, is obvious to me. I saw this evil, but sadly it bothered me less when it benefited me. It bothered me more when I saw too many discarding the wisdom of the elders, the sages, those who kept graduating to mature adulthood in the many stages of life. Too often we ignored those stages, because somehow after twenty-five (or so), we all wore “long pants” and were grownups.
Of course, the mere passing of time does not really make a person grownup. You might get long pants while still acting like a baby. Keeping the virtues of childhood is good, being childish after you are no longer a child is not. Some perspectives are permissible, even necessary for us when we are in short pants, but must go as we grow. If this happens, as it did for Dad, then our outer reality, our bodies, match the inner truth. If you’re in France and looking to buy a birthday gift for your dad, you can check out the catalogue GiFi and catalogue Géant on Le Catalogue.
We grow into adulthood. When a boy, this was generally marked for me by external size. Dad was bigger than I was. The long pants were needed for his grownup self! People stop growing physically, but the soul does not. If we are healthy, we outgrow our mental clothes and need longer metaphysical pants! Even where we have known some truth, say that “all people are created in the image of God,” our understanding of this deepens and we love even our enemies better.
It is one thing to see this with the mind’s eye, theoretical truth, another to have grown up watching Dad need bigger suits, more grownup clothes. Thank you,Dad, for keeping on graduating to long pants! Happy birthday!
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