It is a small thing that last dance, but a good thing.

The last dance with my daughter, before she was married, was good.

I resist some good things.

I am glad for the end of childhood and the wonderful love I see between my daughter and her husband. I am most happy to be, by marriage, a potential member of  his folks. Hope and I are hoping they will accept us over time! Nothing could be undone now without sin. No man could condemn marriage without arguing with God. What God has joined together no man can sunder.

What God has joined, I would never sunder.

And yet the transition from an old good to a new good is hard. I miss baby Kakie. Of course, if Baby Kakie came, I would miss the adult, smarter than I in so many ways, Mary Kathryn. She knew so much poetry, so much literature, and was a better gamer than I was or ever will be. If I could, I would go back in time and be a better parent. I cannot and so shall not obsess on this empty possibility. Instead, I shall be as my duty bids me, to be her greatest cheerleader, fan, supporter, until the end of days.

She was, is, and always will be most excellent. Not one bit of control would I make on her, all freedom I would give, but I miss what was. That is not good, but that is the way of things. We know the old order must change, giving way to the new, but we fear that change. Why? She is waxing, I am waning. That is good, but fear, the enemy of love, makes me resist that change.

What if all I value is lost?

But if one generation, one passing phase of humanity, can end a truth, then it could not have been the truth. Truth endures. Truth endures if nobody believes the truth to be true. This woman, this human, understands and endures to the next generation. I am so proud to see her surpass me.

We love the new goods: the bigger family, the greater good, but, oh, we miss the old. I see her American Girl doll on a book case shelf in her old bedroom, made to look like her, and miss the little girl. I see her coffee mug, next to the coffee grinder, and miss the grown up woman who would disagree and argue and teach . She knew and knows so much more poetry than I. She taught us so much, gave us so much joy, and now that era is ended.

Just so.

Really.

I would not have it differently even if I had a three wish ring.

Yet.

This choice is hard, because this side of Paradise there is a fear that the old good is lost when the new good is gained. In reality, no good is lost. In Paradise, we will have access to all the good memories, all the past that is good, and nothing that is great, good, and beautiful will be forgotten. The ugliness and evil will be healed or at least understood in the light of eternity. We cannot ever demand, insist, or control. Those we love must be free and independent. All relationships that are loving must be based on consent.

Yes.

But, oh, how I must miss the old goods, because I am not as good as I should be.

Our last  dance: 181F7086-0F50-41A9-812E-C4E04B6563A7

I put it here, because the song reflects on the choices of Phil and Kathie Johnson who gave us a vacation as family when we could not afford a vacation. Phil and Kathie watched the movie (brilliant movie!) where this song is to be found. The dance joins many families into one whole: the old and the new.

So it goes.