But people do.
I was leading a yoga retreat in the beautiful Pocono mountains of Pennsylvania in October with 8 wonderful ladies, and on a hunch, I decided to add in an apophatic meditation I’d listened to on Spotify with The Liturgists on a few occastions. (You can listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i5cicks7Rc )
I didn’t recall it exactly and created my own as I went along. The intention is to begin with a statement then to contradict the statement followed by a third statement meant to confuse the mind a a bit, essentially moving beyond our critical veil to some deeper truth.
What brought me to write this post was an experience of trusting that I can discern when someone is telling an untruth. I have certainly been guilty of exaggerating on more than a few occastions over my life but to create an entire story to make myself look and feel better, no I don’t think I’ve done that. I’m trying to be brutally honest with myself and I must admit I’ve not admitted wrongdoing, lying about fault, a few times to cover my own butt.
More importantly, when you sense a person, a friend, is lying to your face, what is your response? Privately bring it up to them or bring it into your prayer or both?
Back to the meditation– when I got to the statement “Jesus is LOVE” I smiled then when I moved into “Jesus is NOT love” I began to weep and there was a moment where I felt so awful about lying. The final statement was “Jesus is not not love”, a double negation which returns us to the truth– Jesus IS love!
I found my body’s natural response to the truth to be so comforting because there have been many times that the spirit of God has relayed information through my spontaneous tears and I really want to trust them all and be able to speak of them confidently with a deep faith in my ability to discern.
This journey of trust– self-trust and trusting others is intertwined. But I can say for sure as a yoga teacher that the BODY can always be trusted. It is Jesus as our subconscious mind, revealing falsehoods as we are ready to become aware of them in God’s perfect timing in order to embrace more Truth and Light. So when I’m battling with my body who is saying “Ugh, no more sugar, or alcohol or caffeine!” it is my ego the body is up against.
My will is desiring some immediate comfort. This is not to be ignored and battled with a law and order judging mentality. This is the moment for compassion to enter, asking the inner child, the emotional body within– what is really happening here? What might I be afraid to feel? Then be brave and FEEL…usually rage and anger have grief underneath. Go outside and beat the ground with your fists or write a nasty letter then watch it burn. Hit up a Buti yoga class and grunt and sway your hips to release what’s stuck…be intentional. I hope you love and trust more of your body after reading this post. What is your response to my statement that it is Jesus, the authentic LIGHT of awareness?