Husbands, Know Your Wife

by Tyler Kirkpatrick

If anyone has ever told you that their marriage is perfect; they are either lying or not human. I understand there are some couples that “agree all the time and never fight,” but for those of us who don’t—husbands, know your wife.

For the little time I have been married, I have learned a lot. I have learned that my wife needs my time and attention. You see I am not a very “affectionate” person by nature. It has been a learning experience from day one. But what marriage hasn’t?

Currently I am a Master of Divinity student at The Southern Baptist Seminary, a carpet cleaner, a preacher, a dad, and a husband. These are all current titles I hold. Often times we remind ourselves and are reminded to keep God first—that is, not allowing our titles to take the place of God lest we become idolaters.

However, we often forget that our family comes after God. Not our jobs and tasks. For me it is easy to trick myself into thinking ministry, since it is God’s work, should be excusable when it comes to family time. But this isn’t the case; this is a fallacy that disrupts my family.

What is it that God desires, moreover, commands of us as men?

“Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25

What a high calling! Love your wife like Jesus loves! That means an unconditional love—a love that serves, a love that cares, a love that seeks, a love that desires, a love that sacrifices, and if need be a love that ends in death. But we can’t do this if we don’t know our wife! Husbands know your wife!

Know how she needs to be served, know how she needs to be cared for, and know how to meet her desires. Often we act like “men are from Mars, and women are from Venus,” but that is just a catchy title! We are both from God, and He has given us an Instruction Manual that applies to both.

The point of this article is not to show off all my wisdom in marriage, because I don’t have it! It’s just a reminder to we husbands that our wives need us. They need us to be there, and so do our kids! We could be doing “God’s work” or just finishing another task. If we are ignoring our wives, not matter the task, it’s just another task.

Husbands know your wife. Take some time to make her laugh. Take a moment to stare at her. Give her a little pat on the rear! Flirt. Whisper. And most of all, search the Scriptures, and love her like Jesus.

This post was really a reminder to myself. To love Chelsi and Max. To be there for them. To protect them. To take a moment to tell them how precious they are to me. My prayer is that we be the husbands God intends us to be. Don’t allow your tasks and titles to take your time away from God and don’t be an idolater—but don’t forget your family comes next.

Husbands, know your wife.

Tyler Kirkpatrick studied Pastoral Ministry and Greek at Cedarville University and is currently pursuing his M. Div at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He lives with his wife and son in Louisville, Ky and is a writer/ policy analyst at the Commonwealth Policy Center. You can find him on Facebook and Twitter.