the POWER of accountability

I have this friend in my life, “J”.  She’s an amazing Lebanese goddess.  She never ceases to amaze me & though she is usually apologetic for being “rough on me,” it is one of the things I value most about our friendship.  Anytime I’ve tempted to throw it all away, there is “J,” setting me straight.

Today, as I loathed on about how I’m getting behind in school, perhaps even sabotaging my ability to finish well she said quite firmly, “you need to rebuke that s*%t right now.  You are finishing school.  You are getting your degree & you WILL change the world.”  She proceeded to pour into my little pity-party… “you are so gifted & you have so much to do… I believe in you… get it done! Etc. Etc.”

As long as she’s in my life, I know I’ll never be able to give up on my dreams, cheat on my husband, abandon my kids or anything otherwise ridiculously crazy & stupid.  Simply put, she won’t let me.  She won’t let me talk bad about myself, i.e. “I’m so stupid, b/c I did ____ & ____.”  She won’t let me not care for myself, or my husband, or even my house & she won’t give up on me.  There will be no throwing my life away.

The thing is, a lot of people do throw their lives away.  I have another friend, she left her husband in a horrible way.  It was just plain old mean.  And the thing is, -because of the nature of our relationship- she wouldn’t allow me to say anything.  I had no space to challenge, exhort or otherwise help her not to make what is certainly the biggest mistake of her adult life.

I’ve always known I’m only 2 small steps away from making horrible & rash decisions.  I am the type of woman who could walk away from marriage, or cheat, or kill a cat -if you read yesterday’s post:)- or do anything that would range on the scale of bizzare, sad and stupid.  

For whatever reason I don’t try to fool myself with thinking I’m a “good person.”  This is the reason why I’m able to painfully honest about my shortcomings in my blogs –because I don’t have some sort of weird savior complex —-I’m just a girl in the world who is always trying to figure it out, always stumbling through, always trying to get it right.  I’m a sinner, prone to folly like me or leave me.  You may not think that’s true of me — overall you may sense I tend to make good decisions.  This is why:

1) Jesus 2) Friends like J. who give it to me straight.  (Afterall, I have several folks like “J” who have & would give their left arm to help me make this life work.  Honorable mentions, another “J”, another “J” & another “J.”  I guess I’m just a sucker for best friends who names start with the letter “J.”)

Never ever, & I mean NEVER ever underestimate the power of accountability.

Most folks you know who have a heck of a horrible life, have no accountability.  They are hard headed & they don’t want anyone telling them that they are being stupid.  Don’t be like that, ladies.  It’s just dumb.

My encouragement to you, Ladies is this:  BE good accountability for your friends & RECEIVE good accountability from those who love you enough to give it.