When the people you love are lying through their nasty teeth

I watched The Truman Show tonight while I was pretending to get some work done.

A line stuck out to me: “If Truman wanted to get out, he would.  But he won’t because we all accept the reality we have been given.”

And it’s true, we do until we know we don’t have to.

Everyone in Truman’s world was lying to him through their nasty teeth.  It’s a profoundly sad movie, y’all.

I was chatting it up the other day with a friend as we were reminiscing about nights in the Detroit clubs WAY back in the day.  There were these chants where the girls would say horrible things to the dudes followed by the dudes saying horrible things to the ladies.

(I was half-tempted to include the chants but once I typed it out and realized how vulgar it is, even I couldn’t do it).

And we thought this was fun.

At that time, at that moment in reality, it was fun to me.

It was the reality I accepted.  It was the reality given to me, that I trusted and dare I say, cherished?

Now, it’s a reality that DISGUSTS me.  I was okay being called a b*tch and a hoe…all in the name of fun!?!?

In that reality, I thought dudes constantly trying to use me was somehow flattering.  I’m telling you, I did not know it any other way.  I did not understand or comprehend that I had any other worth outside of my sexuality.  This reality was handed down to me by none other than my own Father.

I didn’t even know a different reality was possible.

Ugh.

At some point I realized, much like Truman did that the reality being presented to me was just not good enough.  (Or that I was finally good enough to not need it).

In April of 1996, I allowed my faith in Jesus to make a meaningful impact on my behaviors.  Everything changed.

Nowadays, I don’t accept any reality because someone tells me it “has to be this way.”

To use a phrase from my beloved hometown: Aw. HAAAALE. Naw. (translation: oh hell no)

I’ve had far too many people who were supposed to love me do the exact opposite for me to trust anyone who tells me to lay down and shut up.  Those days are so far gone, thank the Lord.

I’m not looking to make folks feel comfortable with my behavior.  I’m not allowing anyone to shove me in a box for whatever gain it brings them.  Sorry.

I don’t accept that reality, at all. 

No one should force feed you or I to live in a way that imprisons us for their benefit and then tout it as “love,” or “concern.”

That’s some bull.

So.  If you need to escape, do it!  Do not accept the reality you’ve been given because you think you need to, to make someone else happy.

Do not accept the reality you’ve been given because escape is scary.

Do not accept the reality you’ve been given because you think your alone.

Do not accept the reality you’ve been given because you foolishly believe no one understands what you are going through.

Take control of your destiny.

There are many millions of realities that could be yours, but only 1 reality which you can allow yourself to be stuck in…to die in.

Take control of your destiny.

With the Lord’s help, I am too.

We can’t even begin to fathom what the Lord has for us if we would just cooperate for crying out loud.

Tell me in the comments, are you feeling stuck in any way?  What reality are you stuck –whether self-imposed or not— that you feel you simply cannot escape?