5 Financial Arguments and How to Avoid Them

Let’s face it; financial arguments can put a strain on your relationships.  It’s not that money itself causes financial fights – it’s the way both parties handle the situation.

Since you don’t always have a say in the way someone else responds, the best way to control a financial argument is to reshape your approach and to avoid getting defensive right out of the gate.

Not all financial arguments are created equal.  :) The way you approach your spouse, your boss, your family and your friends can really be different and can require a whole different approach.  These tips won’t work for everyone, but it’s a starting point for things to consider when you’re faced with a financial argument.

Marriage: The Financial Face Off

This can be the most common of them all.  For my wife and I, a financial argument usually doesn’t stem from a lack of communication.  It’s usually from the stress that comes from knowing our bank account is low or from unexpected expenses.  Having an emergency fund of at least $1,000 helped us avoid this stress, but doesn’t eliminate the fact that we always need to improve our communication skills.  When we have clear communication channels in place (monthly budget discussions, goal setting, etc.) we often avoid arguments about money.  It sounds simple, but it’s worked for us.

The Workplace Warrior: Fighting for More Pay

Have you ever approached your boss about a pay raise or about an added benefit like a phone or computer?  These conversations don’t have to end on a sour note.  Avoid awkward arguments at work by doing your research and giving your manager a detailed list of things you’ve done to justify a raise or benefit like a company paid cell phone.  Show them how the benefit will improve production or suggest additional responsibilities that will support the raise in pay.

If you’re rejected, be careful not to burn your bridge by fueling the argument with harsh comebacks or excuses.  Though it may sound counterintuitive, try to work harder and show that you’re committed to making the best of your job despite the financial argument.  Your superiors should notice your efforts and if they don’t, you might just need to be on the look out for a place that does!

The Borrowing Family Member

The best way to avoid this argument is to not lend to family at all!  Just kidding…kind of. ;) Before you lend to anyone, you should consider the risks of lending and not expect the money back.

Does that mean you shouldn’t lend your brother $100 or $1,000 for school books or a car repair?  No, I’m not saying that at all.  It’s good to help family and to be generous, but if you anticipate the worst, and secretly consider the loan a gift, your family relationship will be in less risk of ruin if they don’t repay.

A Friend and Your Funds

Ever lent money to a friend?  What about collecting rent from roommates?  For these situations, it’s generally good to have a contract in place or agreement already established, especially if there are payments involved.

If you come prepared with a simple contract regarding the terms of payment or rental agreements, you can avoid a few more arguments.  Granted, arguments can still come up when working with money, but you’ll need to step back and ask yourself if the friendship is worth losing over the money involved.

The Kids and Your Coins

I wouldn’t expect too many people to set up an amortization schedule when their kids ask for $20, but I’d hope you have established the financial rules in the house for borrowing money.

Asking our parents for money just wasn’t something we did as kids growing up.  If we needed extra money, we’d ask if there were extra jobs we could do to earn cash.

Your family might be different, but I think there’s value in associating pay with hard work– even in the family.  Don’t get me wrong, my parents were generous and enjoyed blessing us with a $20 here and there, but they valued hard work and didn’t entertain begging for extra spending money.

I can hardly remember arguing with my parents about money and I think it’s because of the way they emphasized hard work and earning money.

Can you think of any other financial arguments that sneak their way into life?  How else would you handle any of these listed above?