Stuff

Stuff October 30, 2012

I’ve never been in a position to make substantial money, but now that I have a college degree and training in specialized fields, I’m set up for making some pretty good dough. And let me tell you, I’m gonna make it, and I’m gonna spend it. On anything I want. And why shouldn’t I? I deserve it at this point. I want to buy the things that I’ve always wanted to buy. There’s so much stuff I want.

When you think about it, stuff is what really matters because it’s what lasts. People come and go. I know this all too well; I’ve just said goodbye to 95% of my social circle, and I’m probably never going to see them again. But things—those are mine to have forever. I own them. They’re my property, and I can take them wherever I want and do whatever I want with them. They don’t just say goodbye and walk away.

Once I find a job and start saving up, I’m on my way. I’m fine with working anywhere. As long as it pays good money, that’s all that matters. Even if it’s a bit of a drudgery. I’d rather have a job that pays enough so I can get what I need. I can deal with the daily grind. Once I have a solid job and a car, I can get my own place, and that’s when the fun begins.

As tempting as it might be to set up the apartment right away, there are a few other things that take priority. First thing’s first: a smartphone. It’s pretty ridiculous to have to go to Starbucks every time I need internet. Really, who does that anymore? Having it on my phone is a must.

Then a new computer. Mine is three years old now, and it’s bogging down quite a lot. I need something that will stream shows better. (Watching “The Office” with a choppy stream is really not fun. Sometimes it freezes right at the awkward silences and makes them a bit too long.) At this point in life, I might as well splurge and get something that’s pretty cutting edge so that it’ll last longer than my current computer.

Phone, computer—done. Now to set up shop. I need a TV. If I’m going to be working all the time, I want a nice setup to come home to. I don’t feel bad about spending extra money on the home, because that’s where I’ll live. If that’s where I’m going to spend most of my off-time, it might as well be comfortable. There’s nothing better after a stressful day at work than coming home to watch TV, with no one to bother me. Just me and Dwight. And my couch. Mmmm…yes. So yeah, the TV’s gotta be nice.

But really, these are all preliminaries. They’re just to hold me over in the meantime. The real fun happens a couple years down the road, when I move up in the world. One or two good promotions—that’s all I need. Then I’ll be making the kind of money that’ll let me live just how I want.

I might have a family at that point, but—well, no, actually I probably won’t. I don’t think there will be enough time, and I’ll have enough to keep me occupied anyway. If I’m going to save up enough, I’ll have to be committed to diligence. I’m willing to work the lower levels for a couple years to wait for my turn at the top. Monday to Friday goes by fast enough – 52 of those guys will go by in just a couple blinks – and on the weekends I’ll have a nice place to chill. Watch TV, play video games, whatever. Hopefully even have some friends over to join in the fun. (I hope there are cool people at the office.) That’s not such a bad wait at all. Four years will go by like nothing.

Anyway after that, then I can get what I really want. The big toys are worth the wait. First, a boat. On the weekends me and my friends can go out on the boat and ride the lake alllll day. Next, a motorcycle. On holidays and vacations I can ride the bike wherever I want. Just me, the bike, and the open road. Me and the bike, we won’t get lonely—you can’t get lonely when you’re cruisin’ the good old U.S. of A.! I guess I’ll also need to get some more space for these things, though. This would be a good time to buy a house. Then I’d have a big yard for the boat and a garage for the bike. I’d have more room for things inside, too.

A pool table! I’ve always wanted one. And ping pong, too. You know, it’d be sweet to have a whole game room. Pinball, anyone? I could even put some money into a guest room, so that a few friends would have a place to stay when they come in before our weekend lake retreats. Or I might as well make it several guest rooms so that all my friends can come stay! All of ‘em. I’ll have a ton! I could even put a TV in every room, make it like a hotel. We’ll have some ridiculous fun times!

Ya know, now that I think about it, I’m gonna see if I can work overtime. I’d do it. There’s nothing better to do in the meantime. I might as well work extra so I can get this stuff sooner. It’d be the most prudent thing to do. Why wait to get where I wanna be? What else is there? This is as good as it gets. Wait, no, scratch that—there’s better! Maybe with the right promotions and enough consistent overtime, I could even retire early. Just buy a few of the things I want, then put the rest away. If I go at it really hard, I might be able to retire after 25 or 30 years! That’ll fly by! That’s not bad at all. Then I could have all the time in the world – hopefully a good 15 or 20 years before I die – to live it up! I could go out on the boat, watch TV, play pool, enjoy my nice house, kick it with all my friends. Yeah, that’d be prime. What a way to spend the rest of my life—in style!

Man. I can’t wait to get all my stuff.

This article was written by Jonathan Sites, an Evangel University graduate who is passionate about sharing his faith with others.  If you would like to be featured on Faith and Finance, find out more here.

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