According to sources, Pope Francis has given the go-ahead for the Vatican to launch an international telecommunications company called Viaticom. Vatican Press Secretary, Fr. Thomas Rosica, told reporters that Viaticom will offer Catholics cell service via a Natural Family Plan. People say its great, but you have to agree to not use your phone for 7-10 days every month.
(Can I tell you how proud I am of myself for this? HA! I kill me. Seriously, folks. I’ll be here all week. Try the gluten-free hosts and don’t forget to tip the altar-girls.)