My FPR/FMH Father’s Day

I like to think of FPR and FMH as the polar opposites of the bloggernacle. We at FPR do ancient texts, exegesis, history, etc. At FMH they do coregasms, breasts, baby poop, etc. Though, I did think there was some crossover when fMhLisa regaled the world with her story of ritual impurity (see Leviticus 15:25. However ladies, fret not, us males can also contract ritual impurity as well, see Leviticus 15:2. In fact on certain ocassions priests would not be allowed to sleep the night before an important function lest they have that pesky “issue out the flesh” and become ritually impure at exactly the wrong time. And just to complete this aside, I think that I when I have that conversation with my sons in a few years I won’t call it “nocturnal emission” but rather “an issue out of the flesh,” it just seems grander.)

However, though they are polar opposites, my father’s day was part FMH and part FPR. First, the FPR part. After my requested breakfast of eggs, bacon, and cinnamon rolls I sat down on my couch to really give my arteries a chance to clog up. My lovely wife and children then brought me the cards they had made and the presents they had purchased. My presents were the following books:

• Did God Have a Wife?: Archaeology and Folk Religion in Ancient Israel
• Who Were the Early Israelites and Where Did They Come From?
• The Early History of the Ancient Near East, 9000-2000 B.C.
• A History of the Ancient Near East ca. 3000 – 323 BC
• The Cultural Atlas of Mesopotamia and the Ancient Near East

This, apart from showing me to be one of the most boring people in the world, shows why I blog at FPR.

Now to the FMH part. Just before breakfast I went to check my blood sugar since I am diabetic. I pricked my forearm and loaded the blood into meter. Five seconds later the glucose reading said “69.” Wow, I thought to myself, gematria for FMH! And, there was even a little blood involved.

By the way, if you thought I was going to share intimate details of my personal life, get your mind out of the gutter, this IS FPR, not FMH.