Earth to Elna Baker: God doesn’t live on Kolob

Don’t get me wrong, I actually personally want to see the new Broadway musical The Book of Mormon. And I admit this is a super nit-picky observation, but I’ve seen multiple Mormons mention the Kolob joke when they talk about how great the new musical is/will be. The latest was Elna Baker, the funny Mormon author of The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance. Here’s part of her reaction to the new musical from an NPR story:

“There’s a line where they say, ‘I believe that God lives on a planet named Kolob,’ ” Baker says. “That is an actual Mormon belief. We do believe that. But taken out of context — or in context — you do not want anyone to know you actually believe it.” (Robert Smith, “On Broadway, A ‘Mormon’ Swipe At … Everything,” All Things Considered, 24 March 2011.)

Any Mormons who believe God lives on a planet called Kolob need to look more closely at their Book of Abraham (might I recommend Brian Hauglid’s new textual history of the BoA?). Again, this will seem silly and nit-picky to plenty of folks, but according to the scripture in question:

1. Kolob isn’t necessarily a planet.
2. God doesn’t live there even if it is.

Check it.

Sure, what the scripture really says still sounds a bit weird. Let’s at least be more accurate in our eccentricities!

Break a leg.