Safe? Safe?

Safe? Safe? February 17, 2012

So, you know, this blog has that stuff about Mormon culture and all up on the masthead, but I don’t usually write much about it.  This probably has to do with a certain snobbishness on my part.  I left Utah at seventeen and haven’t really looked back, so I usually think Mormon culture isn’t.  Then again, I’m not much of a culture person myself, or at least not the culture of the 21st century.  Nevertheless, something has impinged on my cultural awareness, something about BYU from site called “The Frisky.”  I suppose I will link to it below, at least until my homies find it offensive or it causes that sort of unusual spam that must be stopped before the kiddies read this blog.

Are you wondering how I found this item?  Well, I was following a link to a story about a Valentine’s Day live-action bondage scenario in a grocery store parking lot that ended up in a nine-car police chase while I was getting my hair done last night.  I am sure that all the ladies understand and the gentlemen would still be confused, even if I explained it, so I won’t.

Anyway, consider yourself warned by this:  If you are either a prude or likely to be offended by my amusement over strange BYU happenings, read no farther…


Yeah, I didn’t think that warning was really going to dissuade anyone…

So here’s the deal.  Someone at BYU, presumably a male although it would be interesting to read it as if it had been written by a female, wrote the following letter to a BYU co-ed:

You may want to consider that what you’re wearing has a negative effect on men (and women) around you.  Many people come to this university because they feel safe, morally as well as physically, here.  They expect others to abide by the Honor Code that we all agreed on.  Please consider your commitment to the Honor Code, (which you agreed to) when dressing each day.  Thank you.

Safe?  Safe?  Dude, unless she’s a lonely 300 pound skank on steroids, which she is not, you’re perfectly safe!  I think the real issue here might be that you’re feeling too safe.  Or that you’ve been safe for entirely too long.  Or that she’s not safe while you’re around.

Etcetera.  How often do you think women write letters like this to guys at BYU?  How often do you think that guys write each other on these matters.  Yeah, that’s what I thought, too.

I will have to leave it up to BCC to deal with the idea that sartorial standards are part of someone’s honor code when they have time.  I do not feel that I can do justice to the idea, myself.

However, let us consider the possibility that this is a fake.  The fact of the matter is, if it were purported to have come from my alma mater, we’d know it was a fake.  That we are wondering if it might be for real tells us something highly cultural right there.  Not good, but highly cultural, anyway.

Now a short note to church leadership regarding this:  ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME?  This is what we’re paying for?  The only reason I ever have trouble writing that ol’ tithing check is when I accidentally think about BYU.

And for my homies who claim BYU:  May I offer you a short, sensitive, discrete ROFLMFO?  (That second “f” is for “fanny,” okay?  This is a G-rated blog.  Most of the time.  Except sometimes.)

Anyway, just to tie all this into the wider cultural scene:  the author of that letter strikes me as a likely Rick Santorum voter.  Prolly wears sweater vests, too.



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